Porky Pieman

Pies, Puns and Filthy Thoughts (18 )
2015-07-18 10:20:52 (UTC)

He Should, She Should

You see all these posts on here about people having relationship problems etc. Well a lot of it can/could be avoided if you follow my 2 simple tips for a happy relationship.

1) He should make her vagina wet, not her eyes.
2) She should make his penis hard, not his life.

Actually there's 3 tips but I left one out because I struggle to follow it myself.....First find somebody.


You know you're going to be getting a good good blow job when she puts on a Breathe Right Nasal Strip first.

I once asked a woman, "Can you give yourself oral sex?"
"No," she replied, "Can you do it?"
"Of course I can" I replied, "Lay down and take your knickers off."

Things had been a bit rocky at home for a while so Cyril decided to do something to show Hilda how much he still loved her.
He went to a tattooist and had 'I LOVE YOU' tattooed on his penis.
When he got home, she said to him, "Where have you been? down the pub with your mates again I suppose".
Without saying a word he dropped his pants and proudly showed her his swollen penis with it's message of love tattooed on it.
"There you go again" she said, "trying to put fucking words in my mouth".




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