I have been feeling pretty down lately. Does..
I have been feeling pretty down lately. Does he event want me? I wouldn't want me. I fucking hate myself trust me I'd give anything to slice myself open but I can't because you would see. I just still feel like we are so temporary. I want to be with him so badly. So fucking badly. Of course he wouldn't feel that way for fuck sake just look at me.
I'm always the one to get picked on. I wonder what it is that singles those people out? There's nothing physically odd About me so why do people always fucking gang up on me.
I don't like that I'm constantly around people on this ski trip I need alone time to think. I don't like being around people a lot. I get so sick of it. The loudness the laughing the talking it makes my fucking head want to explode.
I want to get jacob a snow globe but I don't know if he'll like it. Sometimes I make up situations in my head that would never happen and upset myself. Like if jacob just texted me "I slept with Amy" ahha and I cry and its so stupid. Or that my dad died. Just like.. I can't help it I don't know why I do it. I drive myself so insane I want to be out of my head. Things always bother me and they don't stop. They tug and pull at my brain forcing my attention to them.