DanielleHope115

The Secret Life of Danielle Hope
2015-07-09 04:47:37 (UTC)

Beneath the Makeup

As days go by I can't help but think of the past.. Not that I want to but my mind won't let me escape it. As I sit on my shower floor, letting the water roll down my face barely being able to breathe, thinking about what it must feel like not to exsist in today's society.. All I can hear are voices telling me, how I'm not good enough, that I'm still the same person.. Who's not smart enough, pretty enough, entertaining enough, pleasant enough, strong enough... The important people of my life tell me to stop thinking these things... But the truth is.. I'm not purposely thinking this way.. I don't want to wake up every morning, look into the mirror, see a totally different person than whom I feel like... I look into the mirror and see a young woman (20).. But feel confused because that's not the age I should be looking at.. I feel like my mind's stuck in a time zone that I don't want to be in anymore.. No amount of medicine could ever help restore the youth that I lost but yet I relive the horrors day by day.. Paranoia, Depression, Anxiety, Schizophrenia.. Everyday I manage to put on my make up, do my hair, and pretend to be the person I'm not.. And no one notices..

...
Danielle Hope




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