lilv13t402

Memories
2015-07-07 09:18:47 (UTC)

7/7/2015 - Babe, Cinderella, & Teddy

Dear Diary,

I remember these gifts like they were just yesterday. Each plush had its own unique story.

Babe was my 100 day piggy present. Oppa didn't have much cash, but with what he had - he made our 100th special by buying me this gift. I'd carry it everywhere with me. People thought I was stupid in love. But I carried on because Babe was that special to me.

Cinderella was a 22nd birthday present that came along with earrings. It was special because Oppa knew my love for Cinderella and her story. He also knew that I love earrings, and would always dress my pretty ears up. The funny part of this story.. Oppa decided to put the earrings on the Cinderella plush, but when he got to his car - the earrings both popped out of its socket and flew in different directions inside his car. He was able to find one pair, but lost the other. So he was forced to buy another pair of earrings, but much to his distaste in the color of the earrings, he couldn't do much since they were the last pair. (A year later of course, after cleaning out his car - he found the missing pair. Lol.)

Teddy is another special case. So special and heart-warming.. I felt like I live in a drama. The special case was, we both just finished watching "Just You".. the song Oppa rolled in on to pick me up with Teddy in shot gun was the "Just You" OST. The happiest moment of Valentine's Day 2014 of my life.

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I will never be able to find another guy who'd tell me significant Cinderella stories for bed time. Sing me the "Lullaby" song or even duet "Lucky" with me. A guy that would sit through a boring Japanese drama with me.. watch a random new anime.. or even just cuddle me close without the sex.

I'm crying my deepest tonight. The hardest cry I've felt since the breakup. The third cry since the breakup because I finally need it. I need this cry so bad.. it hurts every single cell in my body to cry.

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Sometimes after work, I find myself just staring at the computer screen for an hour or so, without doing anything.. Just stare at it and wake out of my trance. Then sleep.. then work.. recycle.

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I miss him - my heart hurts - my nose & eyes hurt - I feel restless -.. back to anxiety pills to force me to sleep.

-Janie

PS - I held these three plush close at heart tonight, got down on my knees in front of Buddha, Sagittarius God, & Marilyn Monroe -- And I prayed my hardest to let Oppa hear my words & empathize with me. I cried so hard in front of them.. I almost felt ashamed but I stilled prayed for us to be together.




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