April died. I was there with her (so was Caroline and Ethan). We had her euthanized. She was in too much pain. Dogs tend to hide it, but at this point, you could just tell. She could barely breathe, couldn't even get up. Ethan said she was probably super confused because of all the toxins built up in her head.
She was breathing so hard. For the past couple days, I've been touching her face because whenever I do that, she automatically shuts her eyes or blinks or something. I did that after she died, too, and she didn't move and I don't know. I don't know.
I also got the meanest e-mail today... I don't even know the guy. He sent me this thing about being his e-mail buddy but there were all these rules like (and this is me paraphrasing because the e-mail itself was REALLY long and most of it was in all capital letters, which was aggressive, haha)
"I will not put up with internet bullies, I will not put up with the abbreviation of words like 'c' and 'u' , etc. You must not be stupid, I will not tolerate stupid people, and also you're pretty and what does your hair smell like"
It was just really weird and so uptight, so I replied,
"Hey. You seem nice and everything, but these are an insane amount of rules. I'm just looking for a casual friendship... I'm a pretty relaxed person and this seems the opposite of that. Besides, sometimes I like to type "c" and "u" and stuff as words.
This doesn't mean I'm stupid, it's just more casual. Maybe I misunderstood you, but if this is what you require, then I dunno if we can be e-mail buddies. The smells, I'm alright with. It's just all the name-calling and the referring to 'stupid people' that I don't love."
Do you know what he sent me in reply to that? The following is NOT paraphrased.
"MY REBUTTLE, IF YOU THINK ABBREVIATED LETTERS ARE WORDS, YOU ARE AN IDIOT. SHOWS YOU ARE A STUPID NIGGER TALKER WHO NEEDS TO ACT WHITE INSTEAD OF ACTING BLACK. WHY DON'T YOU GIVE IT UP BEFORE YOU PISS SOMEONE OFF ENOUGH THAT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO TROUBLE. GET A LIFE YOU FUCKING STUPID CUNT."
This honestly hurt my feelings... and made me angry because nothing he said was even the slightest bit accurate. He didn't even spell rebuttal right. Fucking ass. I shouldn't have replied but I told him that he was a hypocritical asshole
(because he said he didn't tolerate online bullies, and yet, as soon as I disagree with him, I'm a stupid fucking cunt?)
and I also said that if he thinks abbreviation is "acting black" then he had serious issues.
Ugh, god, that was just horrible.
We went to a coffee shop. I had a latte. Ethan was laughing because his friend Patrick was working there and he did a little design in my cup that was supposed to be a heart but turned out to look more like a wrinkly dick.
Funny because we'd been talking about that earlier, haha. After that, we went to a burger place with Mr. Sandwich, his girlfriend, and his son (his son, I think he's in college or something, is really very pretty).
That was okay but I was nervous the whole time. It was so loud in there and I just wanted to leave. I have a headache.
I posted April's death on Facebook. It's nice to get condolences, I guess.
Today has been a bad day. A really bad day. It'll be better and all. It's nice to have Ethan around because he's never serious.
I don't think we'll be getting another doggy. My mom told me my dad didn't want to, which I expected, but I'm still disappointed.
Ughhhhhhh. Good night.