Ok ok... yay! Here's my first entry.
But before I get started, can I just say how unappealing the design of this website is?? D: I think they need some graphic design work or something (sorry, sorry).
I actually have a real diary that I write in all the time, but I wanted to try this out... I've found that sometimes I want to share my thoughts with others (even if just one or two people) just to have someone listen for a little bit, and I can't do that with my regular diary. So, hi!
I'm just going to jump right in. I'm 18 years old but act like a 12 year old most of the time. I'm disorganized, act young, and spend a lot of time in my own head. I also suck at talking. I'm also very emotional (hence all the journaling).
Recently I've come to a dilemma. You know how as a little kid you were always like "when I grow up, I'm going to do this and that and be great and woah watch out world!" and then when you actually do grow up, you realize that you're really not special at all and are just average at best? That sucks. It really, really sucks. Because I want to be great- I love creating art and I used to think I had talent because everyone said so (argh why do people say that) but nope, nope, I don't and I'll never be great. Did you know Mary Shelley was only 18 when she started writing Frankenstine? And S.E. Hinton was only 17 when she wrote the outsiders?? And so I always want to do everything: write a novel, make a film, paint gorgeous paintings, create a comic, and end up doing nothing or spinning my wheels because I couldn't possibly compete with really great minds and talented people.
Sorry for sounding so negative- I'm not always. But this is just driving me crazy!
I wish I had something worth putting out into the world. I wish I could make people listen. I wish I had things worth saying.