LustingforNightmares

tumbleweed
Ad 2:
Want some cocktail tips? Try some drinks recipes over here
2015-06-19 15:51:56 (UTC)

I NEed Friends


3:51 PM

"and i think people should try harder to accept others. you can't change them and they're still people like you and just because you're angry with them for not agreeing with you and being like doesn't mean you should condemn them and deny them equal rights. approximately 750,000 people attempt suicide in the US alone and 30,000 actually die from it. is that not sad to you? before I leave this world, i want that to change. no one deserves to feel that way and we all are able to help and we should all make more of an effort to. i want this world to be a more suitable home for all of us before i leave." -Elise, http://www.my-diary.org/read/d/801932

I'm worried it wasn't all that different when she left.

---
4:O2 PM

GUYS, ALEXIS IS LEAVING FOR THE SUMMER!!! SHE'S GOING TO WORK AT HER GRANDFATHER'S RESTAURANT A COUPLE HOURS AWAY UGH. I'M SO SAD. WE WERE GOING TO GO SEE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW TOMORROW BUT NOW SHE'LL BE GONNENENNENENENENENEE.

THIS IS SAD.

SHE WAS LIKE, "WELL, AT LEAST I'M NOT DEAD" AND YES, YES, YES. I AM SO GLAD SHE IS A REAL PERSON THAT I KNOW??? Let's appreciate Alexis.

---

4:26 PM

I drank a lot of water today! This is good. I used to do this all the time but I'd forget.

I wonder what happened to that medicated energy. I don't feel it as much. I don't have that much energy. In fact, I'm kinda sleepy again...

To be honest, it might not have been medication-induced.

I started feeling really happy about a day before I started taking the Wellbutrin and then I just got happier from there, got that humming and slightly less sleep than normal.

Plus, Wellbutrin isn't even supposed to kick in until at LEAST a week, which means I should be feeling its effects in a couple of days...

I don't know!!! I'm confused!!!

I have the diagnosis of bipolar NOS. That means I have some symptoms of hypomania, but not enough to clearly qualify for bipolar I or bipolar II.

Still, I think most of my moods can be explained by my GAD or medication.

Sometimes I even wonder if I have GAD, though. I'm going to go spend some time intensely researching these two disorders, hoping to find information I don't already know...

FINDINGS INCONCLUSIVE. SIGH...
---

5:16 PM

IT'S SUNNY!!! HOLD ON

---
"West Coast" by Coconut Records (I think I've listened to this song once a year since it came out)

5:20 PM

There is a knot in my belly.

Breath loosens it, doesn't unravel, but whatever.

I'm tired and my cells are shaking.

Okay, I should bring April to the cemetery.

---

6:31 PM

I'M SO MAD WHY AM I SO TIRED :///

The birds were pretty and I did some more thinking about spirituality. April barked at a dog. I really wish she were more friendly with other doggies. She used to be real nice with them, but at some point, she became afraid and aggressive. Almost all of the sudden. Was weird.

I'm worried about the user of this tumblr:

http://visiblemasses.tumblr.com/archive

I found it in Elise's diary. She was talking about how cool and pretty this girl was and there was a link but I went and??? And this??

THat was posted last year. I really hope she's okay, oh no. :( :(

I was walking in the cemetery and my lungs weren't working properly. I can still feel it, they're hurting and so is my tummy. I don't know why I feel so anxious, there is nothing that should be making me feel this way.

Why can't I breathe??

Okay, guys, I didn't really want to leave this on a slightly sour note but I kinda have to... oh wait

MY DAD GOT A RAISE, PEOPLE!!! YAYYYYYY!!!! I'M SO HAPPY!!! NOW I CAN WORRY LESS ABOUT THE MONEYS!!!

Today was pretty, April is a cute and nervous puppy, daddy got a raise, I finished my exams, momma was adorable, and Caroline was neutral (she's mostly cleaning right now).

I just wish my lungs would get the memo and stop feeling so constricted and fiery.

I almost forgot about Keeko! She soft (Keeko is my cat, whom I do not refer to enough.

I might message some people on here and try to make friends...


Ad:0
Try a new drinks recipe site