LustingforNightmares

tumbleweed
2015-06-14 11:18:31 (UTC)

title or frickin topic

"Virgin With A Memory" by Destroyer

Was it the movie or the making of Fitzcarraldo where your mother decided to
fashion herself after the sad deity we left on the shelf.
She wanted blood, all she got was sacrifice.
She wanted blood, all she got was sacrifice.
She wanted blood, all she got was sacrifice.
Virgin without a memory, now is your chance to be free of all those favorite
bands you ditched for one that's grander: No Use For A Name to the Make-up
- it's all the same.

June 14, 2015 Sunday 11:24 AM


Honestly thought I was going to go crazy. I couldn't sleep the other night, after that entry. Had this insane electricity in my body. In my fingertips and head. Could feel it when I pressed my hand to the window, felt like I should be able to shatter it and catch the rain. Around 3 am, after tossing and turning, I decided to take a walk. I was out in the darkness of my streets, paranoid as fuck. Thought I saw a man, and I swear the geese were singing a song. The kind of song you'd find in a horror movie. Organized noise.

I went to sleep at around 4 after playing some Minecraft. I could finally close my eyes.

UGHHH But I had to wake up at like eight thirty in the morning because I had to go to a Pride Parade.

I'm such an old lady. I hate shit like that, to be honest. I don't have interest in parades or church or seeing an obscure play.

I said that to Caroline the other day, actually.

"Caroline, I love you because we're boring but we don't bore each other."

We like to stay at home, tucked in bed, but we can talk for hours.

Sometimes, I just feel like I've been alive forever already.

Sometimes, I realize that I am alive and I get scared.

I saw Adrian's girlfriend at the parade. I don't know if I named her here. Gosh, she's so nice.

I thought I had things to say but I don't know. Guess not.

Oh! I'm talking to Dude again. There was like a month where we didn't talk (my fault).

I love talking to him. He always asks me these weird questions, like, "do you think we have free will?" and it's fun to answer them. I've thought about these things before and it's nice to be able to talk about them.

I feel restless.

I WANT TO GO ON AN ADVENTURE. LET'S GO ON AN ADVENTURE. I'm always awkward when it comes to new things, though, because that's out of my comfort zone and I don't know how to act or what to do. BUT STILL, I'm bored.

Shit, I gotta study. I really haven't studied like all weekend. Ughhhh. Bye.


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