Struck By Being Ashamed Of Your Old Space
"Head South" by Modest Mouse [I think I may have fallen in love with this song]
A surf rock man from the land of plenty
Surf rock mess with no surf but pine trees
Struck by being ashamed of your old space
Just wanting that mean heat
You bleached your hair
And you pawned your skis
And then you sold out for the
Shade of the palm tree scene
And said, "Oh what a drag!
Oh what a backwards scheme,
'cause here things go from gray
To gray and back to gray again
And they get green and go to gray
And back to gray again"
So he said," Head south!"
May 26, 2015 Tuesday 4:10 PM
"Struck by being ashamed of your old space"
That is the best line.
I am kinda sad today, wearing my imaginary crown of Fuck You Fists. All the fingers directed towards to outside world, when really, it has nothing to do with them.
I am dwelling on something. I worry I'm too self centered which makes me think, "If I spend so much time thinking about myself being self centered, is that self centered?"
I also worry I'm boring.
I know it should only matter how I see myself, but my perception of me is just wrong?? And I'm not saying their perception of me is right, but if a group of people can agree on what you are like on the outside, aren't their opinions worth more than yours?
I am thinking that the humidity makes me feel like I'm melting and just this Sunday, I was freezing.
I'm going to go read The Death of Ivan Ilyich. It's pretty interesting so far.
Also, I was re-reading parts of Ham On Rye, today. God, that book is a piece of art.