The Real Me
Never date a doctor!! EVER!
Just never do it. It is ultimately extremely lonley and it ends in tears because he will not have the time for you.
I mean 1 argument...and we havnt been able to resolve or discuss it because he is busy. Its been a week. Like its ridiculous. I know he is not making excuses because he has been doing shifts, research, finishing up the phd and radio / tv shows on the side then managing his "publicity". You get the drift. By the time he gets home im asleep and he is knackered then ready to get up at 5am again the next day. Where is the time? where is there ever time?
On the weekend he is either doing his phd/ finishing a deadline he recieved from work or fixing his house up as he bought a second one or every now and then goes to see his parents who live 5 hours away.
Me? Where the hell do i fit in? I dont.
Its depressing, i feel clingy and desperate when i know im actually not. Its seriously too much. To feel like im with someone who im not with. Because when was the last time we slept together as in just slept in the same bed together? it been months forget sex...but atleast to hold someone in bed. He either cannot do it because he is busy on weekends or he cannot sleep with me and lose sleep which would fuck up his whole week.
Its tough. its hard not being 1st priority, even tougher not being second and out right fucked up not even coming 3rd place. Im probably 4th/5th priority. Heres the list:
Friends and other family? lol...i dont think they made the list. Should i be glad that I atleast made the list?
The reason why we argue? LACK OF TIME = lack of commitment = lack of attention = lack of progression.
Promises he cannot keep...he makes them to me to make me happy but CANNOT keep them
Its tough shit. And then to add crap into the mix...i have extremely strong feelings for him and i know he feels the same. he just cannot focus on it.
Truthfully i dont think he ever can. I just dont see him being in one of them loving marriages or loving relationships because he doesnt have the time or capacity to focus on it. Quite frankly even if he had a bit of time, i think he is so out of practise and so used to his job and keeping busy that he wouldnt be able to unwind. It is what it is.
I guess I need to vent. He doesnt have the time to listen to me, he doesnt have the time to read and respond to my long arse text messages with me complaining about time again and again and again.
Had i have known it was going to be this tough and like this, I would NEVER have got involved. I would never date a doctor again ever.
So what do I do?