Rebel Nova

TBD
2015-05-12 09:25:47 (UTC)

The Climb Up To The Top

Four in the morning and I should be sleeping. I’ll get a few hours in eventually. I know why I’m not sleeping, but I am also enjoying the quietness that the night has to offer.
Moving on to Oregon.

We were living in a motel for a few months again while my Mom went to find work and eventually saved enough money to get a house. Luckily, one of the house keepers mentioned a house on the road she had lived on and we were able to move in.

It wasn’t anything exciting, but we all had our own rooms and about half of an acre to share with the other tenants on the property. We did have our own fenced of backyard with a huge black cherry tree.
It was summer and I was again outside playing and exploring the new property that I would eventually call home for about 6 years.
I was still uncomfortable Jerry, but I knew my Dad had been out of the picture for some time and things weren’t going to be changing soon, so I continued to being my aloof child self.

School had started and I was not too thrilled to be going to a place with people I did not know. My Mom ended up staying with me until the bell ringed and helped me break the ice by telling me to talk to this girl who also happened to be hanging around my teacher. We started talking and became friends. Not the best of friends, for I saw that we were different and at times didn’t get along too well, but I was fascinated by her intelligence and truthfully her lips.

As I became more comfortable with school, the more I began to relax and feel more comfortable playing when recess came around.

Then another girl, T.S, noticed that I was new and looked lonely when T.C (first friend) stopped hanging out with me and befriended me. She was weird at first, but she was a little more sporadic than I was and we began to hang out with each other.

T.S would eventually tell me to stay in one spot, and wait for her until she got back. The more she told me to wait, the longer the wait became, and then the bell would ring and I had realized that I had been ditched. Left if the big, half shaped tire by myself. That was the end of that and I expressed my anger toward this.
Turned out T.S. was playing with another girl, S, when she told me to wait and she knew that we did not like each other. She admitted that all she wanted was for all of us to hang out and play together. Since, she was my only friend and didn’t want to be that one girl who sat by herself at recess, I agreed that we all could hang out—whether I had liked it or not.

S and I became really close, almost inseparable. We became best of friends, and that began to cause issues with our triangular friendship. We would fight, then make up, T.S. would be in the picture, and then other times she wasn’t. Or I wasn’t in the picture and was left alone again. I think T.S. had moved and that settled the battle of our triangular friendship.

Then another friend became a part of my life. This friend would become the sister I never had—well, at least not with the one I had in mind. J became a true friend and a sister at that. At first our friendship was rocky. I had discovered what gullible was started to become really aggressive and sometimes took it out on poor J. My Mom finally told me that what I was doing wasn’t right and a year later I began to understand why that was such a bad idea—probably the second most nice thing she’s done for me. She has seen things through thick and thin with me and that is someone I would definitely want in my life.

Well, as I began to grow and create my first relationships with other human beings that were not myself, I started seeing the darker things in life; Jerry had not been that cool guy with the cool things like a piano. I don’t really know if I want to say what he did out loud. I mean, I know, and there is no need to keep repeating it. Let’s just say he was a factor in letting me become aware of my physical body; in places where I haven’t even explored.

Then started my troubled years.




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