Now heading for final hearing
We had out appointment in court but short on agreement so we now have to spend more money to hire barristers for a final 3 day hearing in court.
Unfortunately all the things that were put on the table she refused.
I have decided to represent myself in court for the 3 day trials. It will not be easy but I can do it and will save me a fortune.
I still do not understand why in God’s name she has refused the offer and instead wants to drag the case to another 3 days of hearing not to talk about the finances and the preparation involved. She is driven by a cocktail of stubbornness, anger management and deep desire to see me wallow.
I do have confidence though that you cannot have darkness where there is light, you cannot find something that is not lost it is a futile venture.
Having said that the strain is beginning to tell on me. Initially I worried so much on how I can fund a barrister for the case, I was even looking at doing this through my sport betting activities but it involves so much commitment, initial financial commitment and on top of all that there is no guarantee of success. After making up my mind to represent myself I noticed a definite relief and a weight of my mind. Although I can see that I am losing interest in doing my usual things. Everything is becoming a chore, it is as if I am carrying a lot of weight and I am bulking. I can’t let that happen to me so I soldier on, keep encouraging myself and relying on God.
Sometimes I just want to stop for a minute and have a good cry, it is as if that will make me feel better but I don’t want to give in to weakness. I have to be strong….swim not sink.