WoundedAngel

Letters Never Sent
2015-05-05 00:08:24 (UTC)

Hollow

The sunset grows dimmer as this day disappears;one more cold and lonely night without you. I've been an empty shell since this family fell apart. Without you and Chance, I have no reason to fight anymore. And damn it all, here I am, always having to fight to keep you both. And no matter how I try, it's never good enough, is it? Too weak to resist, I'm caught in this viscious cycle. At this point, I am utterly convinced that I am fighting for something that I will never have. I cannot describe to you how devastating it is for me to have a new lease on life and a reason for fighting, only to have it taken away. You two were my everything, my boys; my strength and reason for everything. Now all I have is an empty home, visitations, and seemingly empty promises that the three of us will be a family again. And this house itself is a prison. The walls echo with the memories of our love,laughter, and unity. It torments me to be here.
The worst part of that torment is when you and Chance both are never here. I die inside every single time both of you walk out this door. Why? Because I know that you both have to leave due to circumstances that I cannot save either of you from. Because I cannot save the ones that I would die for.
I feel useless. A complete and utter waste of space. A failure as a human being. My soul has caved in upon itself and withered. I can't be as strong as I want to be. I'm not the person that I used to be, nor am I the person that I want to be. I'm a hollow shell. Unreconizable even in the mirror.
And damned to suffer relentlessly due to a compassionate heart.




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