Grace

Smells Like Adult Spirit (But Not Really)
2015-05-02 00:17:56 (UTC)

prom depression

prom.
the bane of my adolesenct existance.

this past week has been filled with anxiety regarding my date to prom. I was hinted by a friend that someone would ask me. I knew from that point on that this kid would ask me.

Lets get a little background on him. Lets call him Jack. He is in my grade, he plays in the band, like me. He is nice, but a little odd. He picks at his pimples. He acts like he knows it all. I sometimes think I make him seem worse, for some odd reason.

I guess I just thought that prom would be magical (horrible assumption I know). BUt I really thought, just once, that the universe would do me a solid and make prom really freakin' awesome for me. Then this happens.

All week my friend (lets call her Brianna) was trying to get me in my spanish room after school. Why? To create an oppourtunity for Jack. to ask me to prom. I made every excuse. I told her and his friend that I really didn't want to go to prom with him. And I still don't.
Then when Brianna said that she was really serious and that my teacher wanted to see me, I went.

I go in the room, and prom is written on the chalkboard. I nearly threw up. There were like 20 people around me, screaming, awing, the whole thing.

Side Note: I am not someone who likes being the center of attention, especially when it comes to things like this.

So I was mortified and humiliated and honestly a little angry at my friends for letting this happen. I said yes and I hugged him and then we took a picture and then he just sort of ran off. Oh and he gave me flowers.

So here I am.
I cried for a while.
I cried because I thought I deserved better. I still do, I think. I just wanted, for once, for ME to get the guy. For ME to have a great birthday.

Side Note: Prom is on my brithday.

It just seems like its not fair. Its not fair that I am somewhat forced to go to prom with someone I don't want to go with. You may think that I was not forced, but let me explain. He asked very publically. He got so many people involved. It is widely known that if you decline a public promposal, that you come off as a jerk. So what do I do? I say yes.

Just hoping that I can make something good out of this. Really. really. really really really hoping. If you have any words of wisdom, please please let me know.




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