theolor

MyDarknessLives
2015-04-26 15:41:09 (UTC)

Depression

Today I woke up sort of late, around noon, I stayed up till 5 last night after hours of listening to music and then watching several rerun episodes of my favorite anime, Death Note. After I got up I have been on my computer for a while and I had pizza for an early supper. I have started feeling really depressed again and I want nothing more to just slide back into bed for a little bit.

If the weather permits it, I think I will go to my special spot tonight, there is a road that leads to a dead end at the back of my apartment complex and it is a short walk. On the west side is a corn field and on the east side is just a small field with a highway on the other side and north is a factory. I go and sit there at night when its peaceful out and sometimes I like to watch as the sun sets and I can see the beautiful colors in the sky.

I have gotten word that I have a meeting with a special kind of doctor in may that will help determine if I am fit to be disabled because of my mental conditions and I am really worried. My current meds doctor said he wouldn't label me as disabled until after 6 months of seeing him and may will only be the 5th. I am really worried about this but right now I just feel exhausted, and not because of staying up late I am used to that I just feel emotionally exhausted uhhh whats that word, lethargic I believe. Anyway I would like to thank the 3 people that are following my diary, I do try to update but sometimes nothing really happens.




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