Vanilla

The Real Me
2015-04-22 09:27:03 (UTC)

Close to a breakup now.

Well theres always a point where you face reality. Im doing that now. As much as i would have liked this relationship with Dr M to work its not really working if I'm feeling the way I have been, it hasn't become any "better" its just at a standpoint, where I've stopped arguing with him because I've given up on my needs being met, but his are being met now due to me being "calm" he probably thinks i have calmed down in reality i am just suppressed I told him Im not sure how i feel anymore, well more so that I like him and i care about him but not sure as what and that we want two different things...its not like it wasn't expected on his side, I've been dropping hints for months now that he either needs to step up or I wont be around because once i lose feelings completely it will be hard to get it back.

my feelings are changing, because Im not allowing myself to care as much anymore...i put my all into the things that I want, but then after a while when here is no return it becomes impossible. When is the right time to give up? Ive put effort into this relationship for 6 months and not felt like he has lived up to my expectations. No i dont think i expect alot. I want love, care, companionship and to be a part of someones life, because ultimately there is a time in life where you want to just settle down, open up and share a life together with someone. This relationship hasn't been all bad, he has been ok, just not everything i envisioned it to be. He did help me figure out a few things...and i do genuinely like him as a person just not sure he is bf material!