Ranmat

The Last Hours
2015-04-18 23:34:45 (UTC)

How do I get my fight back

I haven't written in so long. I'm so busy all the time.

Busy keeping the house clean and the food. Not to mention the routine I struggle just to be on time. But I'm everywhere I should be. I'm at the meeting in service, where I met Jonahs school, I'm at the doctors appointments. I can fortunately say I'm not at the car appointments since then I have a car note But I'm definitely not having to worry about Breaking down so far and speaking of that car I ended up selling it to Darren because I'm a sucker. I understood him not having a car
he needs one he's the caregiver of his mother and it looks like he's the one bringing in the groceries and that's going to the grocery store. And I know he gets $ but it's unstable meaning not two weeks. Anyway Captain save a hoe decided to just him that a notary with agreements to pay and even the car knowingly won't pass smog so as is and I'd be within my rights. And even though I had plans with the money I wasn't in drastic need of many as I have been in the past so I had a little cushion room. I was supposed to be 100% paid by now but he's only giving me half and add a ticket to it

So kind of kicking myself in the butt only because it's so prolonged if I went another route I would've had my money has nothing to do with the car.

This is a lesson learned is selling to friends or family give it as a gift or sell it to a unknown party

Next subject

So I've been on disability for two months. I hurt myself at work. Last year I think I wrote about it I had a pain that would wake me up out of my sleep from my shoulder to my fingers So I started physical therapy and then acupuncture and then cortisone shots finally in MRI and turns out I had a pulled ligament or detached from the bone. And I decided to do surgery. I figured a payment that I don't have to pay for it and maybe it will fix the problem I am still young enough where it can possibly heal pass the 90 percentile. And my job is moving too far to realistically drive every day in November so I kind a wanted to be possibly fix for the next job and I needed a two month break or recovery time as you have it it was the beginning of the year so that was being it and it would've given me the opportunity to think about what I really want to do create a resume which I haven't done in over 15 years and see how the game was expected and you know it my surrounding cities I will even go outside of the field I'm supposed to be in And I have a criminal record by not a good one at all. When I think of everything that is on my record grand theft auto embezzlement prostitution is like what haven't I done. Jokingly I haven't committed treason but that's only because I'm not political.
Oh I never did human trafficking. But how do you get around that in an interview. And on top of that I have no schooling like I can't go hurry up and rack up $30,000 on a degree and that's not even going to help me. So I recently bought some come online comptiA that I have to have completed by the end of the year so I can at least put that on my resume and some schooling fortunately I do have experience and people to recommend me.


Raising Jonah is a lot. His dad has given $60 since the year started and before that it hadn't been to anything. Money isn't everything although it helps a lot but he doesn't call. He's not concerned with the spiritual welfare or his education and welfare. once every month or two months or three months requesting that I bring him over so that he can spend quality time with his son. I can say that I have given up on trying to communicate with him. the last time he was with Jonah driving he said that it was okay to throw trash out of a moving vehicle. Later Jonah asked me about it he admitted to throwing it up window but he said he did it once we knew it was wrong but if father was encouraging him and I have always told him to listen and respect his dad.

Every time Jonah goes over there he comes back with something that I have to address. Which is fine because it creates an opportunity for us to address it. But it's always a topic that's not in my plan of things to do and his dad is adding more work for me. I explained to Jonah that and the earth is our home we are designed to live on it's our gift and the reason we are on getting sicker as a people was because we damaged the food the air And God will destroy destroying the earth and we should show appreciation by taking care of it Not trashIng it. His dad is an idiot and I think Jonah is just now starting to realize that his dad is not the best of Association. In the meantime family hates me for keeping him away not that I don't care but the whole environment creates stress and it's hard to plan when we want to go get stressed out!


What would be ideal if I can find someone to be in love with to help me raise my son but that's not working one a shortage of men of quality. And I have gotten so terribly disgustingly obese.

And now I have no choice but to do something about it. I have to look for a job and people are judgmental and if I work the way I look I honestly wouldn't hire myself either. And now I have to put it all out there I don't even like seeing it in the mirror. If I go hard I could lose 80 now by the time I am forced to look for a job. But I have not been able to stick to a regimen ever.

I get to these points where I know what to do but I can't move I can't advance I can't think forward.

I don't know if it's laziness or depression-just too tired

I didn't used to be like this I used to be so motivated and determined no matter what. How do I get my fight back?





Ad: