Its all a flux
There are more dark days in my life in this transition period in my life. I just found out that I need to complete a whole load of legal documentation to submit to the courts tomorrow. This means I have to work on this after work and will probably take me into the middle of the night to complete then come home (send to my solicitors for review), catch a quick nap and then back to work.
I feel very strange I my life right now. I need to see through the divorce and all the emotions that come with it. A little bit about emotions. I try to analyse how I feel nd I think the pain and hurt I feel is mainly from the lack of appreciation and acknowledgement of what I was and still am. With time I believe she would come out and apologise to me one day. I just find it amazing that it took this for me to unveil the mask I wore to see her for who she really is. She is not a nice person, she is very deceitful, and will use subterfuge and deliberate paramnesia.
I am so frustrated with the pace at which the business process is going. When you are in a group you are as fast as the slowest guy. I try to stay calm and keep the enthusiasm going and not rock the boat but it is so frustrating.
In the past month or so I have felt the urge to have sex so much that I could not think of anything else. I had to find a way to satisfy these urges. I have no time to seek new partners as I am always at work or working on my business. When I go out (I do not like going out that much as it ruins the day after) the people I meet are just terrible, I guess I go to the wrong places. I search online for the woman that can meet my urges and I make contact and pay for it. That arrangement works until the urges go away, which it has now. Now I just feel so lonely and would like to talk to someone I trust and just share some good times but I am not ready for any relationship responsibilities right now. It’s all a flux.