wet blanket
2015-04-06 08:25:28 (UTC)

I feel like nobody really tries with me..

I feel like nobody really tries with me anymore.
Everytime I think about Amy I feel sick?
Everytime I think about my future I feel sad?
Everytime I think about our future I feel... doubtful.

I'm sure one day soon they will organise to meet up. It may have happened already, I admit I am always paranoid about what he's up to. He really hurt me.
It still hurts
Why does it still hurt.

Everything and everyone close to you can and will hurt you.

I should start seeing Sarah again. I know I should but I'm getting comfortable with sad again. I'm not motivated to fix myself. I'm sick of fixing myself I'll just stay broken. There's not point if it will always get back to this point.
I want everyone to be nothing to me. Then maybe killing myself will be easier.

Maybe I should stop eating. Maybe then he'll pick me up like he does with Megan, she's light enough.

What's the point in attempting comforting me when I am not blind? Don't worry, I am aware of my disgusting state. Don't lie to me.

Oh and hey Winter has almost arrived so I'm sure you'll be hearing way more from me. You know how I get in the Winter.

p.s. it hurts when you don't tell me you love me when you hang up. Is it because you don't want to say something you don't mean?