theolor

MyDarknessLives
2015-03-31 16:58:21 (UTC)

The source

So I went to my therapist today and told her about my homicidal ideation and what abandonment problems I had and with my best friend and we talked and the more we talked the more I began to realize what has been going on. This whole time I thought my Bipolar came first and caused by BPD (which I am now 97% sure I have) but it turns out the other way around. I discovered that I had BPD that led to bipolar.

I believe everyone has two sides that keep each other in balance the good side and the bad sight but because of my BPD instead of balancing each other out they are at war with each other fighting to be the Dominate force in my mind because I feel things more intensely then others like my emotions, someone laughs and is happy, I would be laughing longer and harder and be overly elated, my moods become more extreme the Mania I am super hyped and my depression hits harder then most. The war between my two sides have thrown my body and mind out of order and my emotions (and therefore my personality) has been collateral damage caused by the fighting. Meaning my BPD came first and caused the war and unbalance and that also led to me developing Bi Polar Disorder due to my emotions being hit harder.




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