LustingforNightmares

tumbleweed
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2015-03-20 12:23:52 (UTC)

BORED AS HELL


"Talking In Code" by Margot & The Nuclear So and So's

*But I've been tired
from the minute I woke,
I stopped listening
the moment you spoke,*
And said I'm long gone.
Yeah I'm long gone....

And I'm sleeping alone,
In a house I don't own,
*'Cause if you're touring your mind,
You'll get lost every time.*

March 20, 2015 Friday 7:58 PM


Our coach made us work so fucking hard today that I cried as soon as I got in my mom's car. I wasn't, like, holding back tears or anything. My mom just asked me how track was and I started crying because I felt like I had a fever and I wanted to puke and my body was so heavy. I think most everyone else was fine, but I have never, ever had a lot of stamina.

I like running fast. I'm not a very fast runner, but I still enjoy it (once, I sprinted after having a terrifying staring contest with a coyote, it was a fuckin' weird day). I mean, in soccer, I was never very good at offense because

1) I lacked the confidence (I'd always get nervous before shooting and I'd miss)

2) I wasn't very good at running up and down the field for long periods of time

I was better, in my opinion, at defense because I really liked sprinting at the person with the ball, I liked forcing them to think fast, and I really loved beating them to the ball. It was satisfying.

Anyway, we ran a total of sixteen laps per person, not counting a couple more smaller sprinting exercises we did to practice relays (the indoor track is about an eighth of a mile, so I guess it was two miles per person which doesn't sound very big but it killed me).

I FELT SICK FOR LIKE TWO HOURS, OH MY GOD. ESPECIALLY SINCE I'M STILL SORE FROM RUNNING A TOTAL OF TWENTY THREE LAPS YESTERDAY AND UGHHHH FUCKKKKKK.

I'm so discouraged and my throat hurts from the way you have to breathe when you run.

---

"Money Sounds" by The Shivers

Boo hoo
Poor you
What's a lonely boy to do
With the moonlight

March 23, 2015 Monday 2:51 PM (ninth period, Drawing and Painting)

I feel so shitty. I've been sick all weekend and my body is just a mess right now. I'm so easily affected by my physical health so I feel pretty sad, too. And also sorry. I'm sorry to everyone ever. For no specific reason. I guess for everything. I'm sorry for everything I've done, sorry for talking to you, sorry sorry sorry.

I'm so dumb. Goddamnit. I have a lot of nonsensical thoughts in my head, the kind you think before sleep, and they're meaningless and confusing.

I WANT TO TYPE MORE BECAUSE IM BORED AS HELL BUT I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY. I just have all these observations having to do with myself and others, like:

Reasons why Olivia is annoying me (I don't want to write about this to be mean, I just feel an intense need to vent about it and if I keep it in, I'll end up resenting her and that won't be good)

Reasons why I think I'm better than other people while also feel inferior??? Okay, not so much reasons as to why, more like just WHY??

Crazy glum bums. Everything sprays purdy. I just need things to spout.

Why I believe I bore or disappoint people.

What to do hey how bout nah

FUCK SRRY


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