Vanilla

Bored.

Im bored
Just plain friggin bored.
I thought i would spend the weekend with my boyfriend, obviously i was wrong. He is just always so..."tired" or "busy" im bored of his lame excuses. I dont know...maybe i will bounce. Everything is so boring though. I need a thrill in my life.

Ive realized I cant live life without some sort of thrill even if that thrill equated to pain usually. Again I think thats my comfort zone, to be in a thrill...or maybe its the fact that I am not happy.

Forget even thrill or pain I want to be happy, even content would be nice but Im not. He isnt romantic, he doesnt do much for me...although he picked me up and dropped me to the airport which was nice, but he was pretty grumpy about it. I just want him to do more...be more romantic, i dont get flowers, he doesnt organise many dates...it would be once in a blue moon. Im just urgh bored of it. Theres no effort on his side...or more so not enough. He is currently "asleep" at his house...im at mine..its just little things...why cant he do the little things, like invite me over we could get takeaway and be lazy together but NO. he would rather just sleep alone. i get that he is tired but its quite often that he is tired or just lazy or that i barely see him. He just doesnt feel the need to see me often and i find that just...pointles. I want a relationship, a proper one now not just some BS once in a while meet up.

FFS.