A lady in the crowd
2015-03-16 04:36:41 (UTC)

Anger Management.

I spend sleepless nights pondering many of life's mysteries. One mystery that comes to mind is God. Is he there, if so is he listening? If he is why did he give us a power not even he could understand.

Free will! Anyone can focus on their goals and it allows them to do things that can't be explained. If he is the all powerful creator of the Universe, why did he not create a society of happy people. Instead he allows murder, hatred, and other awful things into our lives. Are we just his toys of amusement?

Interrupting my nightly thoughts, I see my life as surreal. I question why these past couple of days have turned out to be a masterpiece. Track appears to be a well rounded season; I gracefully ranked second place in 800 meters in the Desert Relays against Palo Verde. We defeated Palo Verde, including El Centro this weekend. Being told that Coach Rojas is proud of me, and wants me on the Cross Country team brings me a delightful smile of accomplishment.

Unexpectedly, my biological father called to wish me a happy birthday. Martin asked whether we could lunch sometime in Mexicali. A week ago, I received a letter from my him. I left the envelop collect dust for a week until I stumbled upon it yesterday evening. I was surprised by a one hundred dollar check. There was nothing but else inside and not a single, "I'm sorry for being an asshole of a coward who fucked your mother as a one night stand." I appreciate this money into my bank account, however his existence into my life worsens my anger management problems.

~Yours Truly,