Vanilla

Pain and Porn.

I continue to watch porn at work in the toilets using their ever expanding broadband service on the work phone they provided me, pain makes me horny. Is that weird? When I'm upset or depressed id rather just have sex and make out it makes it more exhilarating.

I masturbated to my ex boyfriends cheating porn video for a while, I was heartbroken as hell, wasn't eating, sleeping or doing much but I proceeded to watch him finger a drunk white girl from uni and thoroughly enjoyed the pain and pleasure I felt from it. At some point it got too much and I think I deleted the video. Did I mention i forwarded the video to my email and my friends as proof and questioning.

Well I admitted something disfunctional today.