LustingforNightmares

tumbleweed
2015-03-03 21:50:17 (UTC)

I'm An Average Teen Today


"Those To Come" by The Shins

March 3, 2015 Tuesday 8:51 PM

Peer leadership was actually really, really good. Usually we can barely fit in two mini sessions but today we were actually able to do three and two demos.

(Mini session is when you go one on one with someone and talk. You each get a certain amount of time to be "client" which basically means you get time to talk.)

(A demo is when one person is counseled in front of the whole group rather than one on one)

It was really nice. I got to session with his girl I've known since middle school. She's so nice! I never really talked to her before but she's so nice and I didn't expect her to be so friendly.
Like, she leans on people and holds their hands and runs her fingers through their hair. I want to enjoy that but I'm weird when it comes to touching - trust issues and whatnot.

Later, I had a session with depressed Hispanic kid and at first, when brock said we would be paired, I was like "aw fuck" because I mean... I've already explained this.

Anyway, the session actually turned out nice. Somehow we ended up holding hands?? That's a normal thing in Peer but like I said, I'm weird about touching.

It makes me nervous. Somehow it ended up happening though and it was fine. It was weird that I could feel his heart beat through his hand, but also pretty fuckin cool. I love heartbeats.

I didn't know what to talk about so I started speaking of Caroline (I love her to death and I miss the fuck out of her) and how we both like creepy thigs and he was all, "example?" Or something. I said, "well I enjoy my nightmares."

And he said, "me too!"

Yay! Someone understands!!!

Anyway he's nice and interesting.

Aw damn. I was about to type about his session and my thoughts on one of the things he said (it wasn't particularly negative, just worrisome) but even though this is a diary, it still kind of feels like betrayal. ?? Eh. It was about drugs and during the rest of the meeting when pot was mentioned, we kinda looked at each other.

Being friends with him would be okay. And now I can stop being neurotic about how I used to have a huge crush on him around this time last year.

I also had a session with Malcolm but he had just had a demo and was too relaxed to do anything, which was fine since I felt pretty great myself. Today was actually really good but I don't want school tomorrow because these past couple days, I've had a very FUCK IT attitude but unfortunately, I still get homework.

Shit I have to do that.

Ps: my hormones are so weird. I have been so fucking horny this week, it's insane. I went like a month without thinking once about sex and then suddenly even the thought gets me hot and bothered. So strange.


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