MissEnlightenment

Bipolar Mama
2015-02-11 04:16:37 (UTC)

what does it mean to truely love?

Happily lowered my dose and finally feeling more like myself. Which comes with challenges and benefits. I feel creative and curious yet again but easily amped up and frustrated aswell. I feel like no one really reads these but hey its worth a try, because as much as I white these as records I also write them to reach out to people, people who are like minded and want to share experiences and life lessons. I'm 19 years old and I'm pretty conflicted right now, sometimes I feel like I've got it all figured out, but sometimes I feel like with a two year relationship (living together for 1 year) I'm pretty much married, and that absolutely terrifies me. Its not that I don't love him, its not that I don't think he's the one, even. Its just that I know I could be wrong. And its possible that this isn't even the right time to be looking for the 'one'. But when I look back on being without him and the lonely nights of rock bottom and the scattered relationships with boys.. It sickens me. It was like going out was all I had and even that was empty. Now I have things to plan for and build on. Better to have loved and lost I suppose. Most of all I just wanna know if its typical for happily married people to feel this way? I never just wanna b content,




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