Games of Life
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2015-02-02 22:31:43 (UTC)


''Well, I try to live without you, the tears fall from my eyes I'm alone and I feel empty God, I'm torn apart inside''
And i can't even tell anyone, coz nobody i know could understand how i feel about you. Have you ever felt that you'll be the one that wouldn't make it? That you'll be the one won't get what you dreamed of? Everything will just disappear. Without a warning. Why haven't i done it yet? Even the only person who really made me feel my heart and the empty space around her, is so far away from me and doesn't even know. And i'm afraid.I'm afraid that things will never go my way, my dreams will never come true, i wont get the life I always wanted. Especially with him. And then it'll be nothing.. Nothing left. All my life I've been so unlucky. Why would it change now? I'll never see him again so why do i bother so much?
And how could i think that i will see him again? I wrote once:
''i know my sweet spots and i can please myself. That's how well i know me. i have a complete image about me and what i deserve in life. I'm not waiting for anyone to give it to me. i go and get it. i know my needs and I'm able to fulfill them. i can have anyone i want and nobody can tell me otherwise. ill find a way to get it I'm sure''
I get fooled by my own traps. I just can't handle to face the truth. I love living in a dream that won't come true. But the fall is harder when you ride so high, and i fell with my face on the ground. That's the truth.