shinystar

Shinyshine
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2015-02-01 07:57:50 (UTC)

Hoping again

Yesterday I was having my daily routine and talking to my family. It's really a great day, until someone messaged me. As what I am now, a playful girl. I replied with a silly message. I started to suspicious that the person who was texting me was him. I suddenly felt uneasy and my heart started to beat weirdly. The person said many weird things, I was hoping that it was him. I thought he still remember me even we're away to each other already. I thought that everything will be okay, that he'll come back to me. But back in my mind, I said I need to stop this. I can't let myself hurt once again like what he did to me in the past, but I'm so stupid, I let myself convinced that it was him. I get it when the person said. "The one who got away" and "The feeling you wanted to forget". He's the only person who suited on that sayings. He's the one who got away and disappeared completely. I really wanted to tell him how much I hate him on doing it to me, but my love always went first and told me that everything is okay. I started to expect that he will come on my birthday to surprise me, but I'm a fool and believe that it was him. That time I said to myself. "Even it's not him, just for now, I want to think that this person is really him that he still love me and never forget me even we're apart to each other." I sighed while my conscience told me that I'm acting like a fool right now. Until the person revealed himself. He's just my close friend, Jon Ray. Honestly, I felt disappointed on what I knew. I wanted to think that it was him for real, but I completely misunderstood it as him. And now, I'm on my room, thinking about him and the memories we shared together. I hoped again that it was him all along. I just realized that I'm starting to get mad at him. I hate him on doing this to me. I was completely fine when he didn't disturbed my life, but now, he changed my life. I started to see myself as a desperate girl who wanted to see him and talk to him. I don't care when I get hurt if he talked to me. I just wanted to be happy again......


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