My Crazy, Amazing, Messed up Life
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2015-01-09 11:49:45 (UTC)

My First Break Up

I was a fool to believe I knew what love is. I have no experience and I believe that even the people who have 'fallen in love' more times than anyone else don't even know what they are talking about.

I know it is cowardly to break up by text but I figured that it didn't matter anyway considering that he is scared to talk to me in person anyway. The way we actually got together was by my friend setting us up. And he didn't even talk to me at first. He just asked my friend to give him my phone number. After that he just texted me and otherwise it kind of felt like he was avoiding me.
The few times we did actually go on a date he was an absolute gentleman, but had absolutely no confidence.
Just to add to all of this, once I tried 'accidently' bumping into him gently when we were on a date. It was meant to be playful but instead he flinched away, gave me a frightened look and kept walking. That hurt me. Even though he wouldn't have known it.

I know that I have made the right decision to end what we called a 'relationship.' But still I feel as though I have reached into my own chest, twisted my heart, and ripped it out. Now all I feel is hollowness.