The Days of my Life
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2015-01-03 12:31:06 (UTC)

whats wrong with me? I am not sexually appealing

I sit here... sexually confused :( I havent bad sex in three months. Its a huge blow to my self esteem... I give this guy my all... Im pissed because I just gave him a hand job... whats he do when I thought we were ready to go all the way. Push my hand away when it was mega hard. Kept me from touching it... and... hurried to the bathroom. I heard him taking a piss... then... he closed the door and the sink water came on. He went to finish himself. I feel so undesirable that it kills my heart. I know relationships arent based off sex... i know in my heart it isnt... But... Here I am writting here... While he was in the bathroom making a load off. I put my pants back on and sweater and left for breakfast solo as always. Im starting to lose hope. Idky I stay anymore. I think about it more and more everyday... I buy him nice things, make a huge effort to show him I care. I am to the point to where I do wanna go back to Josh :( I feel its wrong. He treated me so right :( I feel will make the wrond dusision tho :( like regret leaving Adam :( I done so much. Im losing hope in men... Is there really a right one? Idk... Im afraid to settle... because, I dont wanna get hurt. Wtf is wrong with me? Should I just act like a friend and move on? :(
Linda aka stupid fuckless fuck