Story of a Girl
2015-01-02 12:05:06 (UTC)


01-01-15 9:58PM

It's been something that I've had in mind for quite a long time, but I've never actually put my thoughts into action--mainly out of laziness.

Since today was the first of January, why not make it today? I'd be making another Facebook account; a backup account, to be exact. I highly doubt my main Facebook account would be deleted or hacked... but you can never be too sure, right?

I made my new account, & I decided to look up my original account because why not? I did... I noticed some things were made public--THE most EMBARRASSING status updates & photos were made public... FUCK. How many people had seen them? I logged back into my original account & scrolled through all the years until I found the public updates.

I started with the updates from 2008, when I originally created my Facebook account. (I joined before it became mainstream at my school, fuck yeah. B) I feel pretty cool, but it doesn't mean shit anymore.) I didn't have many updates. I had A TON of comments from strangers that I had added from YoVille. (YoVille was the shit! Both on Facebook & Myspace.) I only had one status, "Sooo bored .... I learned to walk on air on dw dizzywood" I looked through my status updates from 2009 through 2011... I deleted EVERYTHING that embarrassed me. Oh my god. Since when was adding 28 exclamation points considered cool? "Im so happie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" It wasn't until in the late months of 2011 through 2013 that I noticed something... The majority of my posts were surrounded around my friend. Or, ex-friend. I honestly don't know what we are anymore.


I first met Norma in 6th grade, Science 6. Our original science teacher taught us for a month of two, before she disappeared. Apparently, she had gotten promoted to work in the office, so she'd no longer be teaching. The school provided a substitute for us--he was a veteran, & we all hated him. A week later, he was replaced by another substitute, Mrs. Broussard. She was a thick, beautiful black woman. A mother of three & wife to an attorney. At first, our class didn't really like her, but she was actually pretty rad. She wasn't exactly the best teacher, though... She didn't teach. She handed out packets, & for the rest of the hour, you'd sit in your seat & find the answers in the book. She wasn't a teacher, but she understood us-- she understood our problems, our emotions, & she helped us.

The principle asked if she'd be willing to substitute our class for the rest of the year; she said yes. Since she'd be our new "teacher," she decided to give us a new seating chart. She decided too place me next to a girl named Norma. We never talked to each other, because... duh, we're strangers. One day, I was having trouble finding an answer from the book. I asked her if she had the answer, & she did. The next day, it was the same thing, except SHE needed help. Same thing happened the next day, & the day after that. Eventually, we both started talking more. We found out that we also had Beginning Choir second period, so we sat next to each other, all the way in the back row. During our science class, we'd share our answers with each other so we could finish our work early; we were--literally--the ONLY ones to finish the daily packets. In choir, we'd sit back & share notes-- A whole note is worth four beats, a fermata is holding a note for a little longer, & Michael was a Ritardando. (We were a bit creative with our... music terminology.) I once bought a manga book to class; it was a manga called "Ultra Maniac." (I was going through an anime phase at the time) I brought this book to class, & once we were done with our work, we started drawing the characters... Norma was REALLY good! Sometimes, she'd print anime photos from her computer & we'd draw them in class. The next day, we'd bring in our finished drawings & compare. At the end of the year, I guess you could say that we were pretty good friends.

7th grade, a new beginning... kind of. We only shared Beginning Art together for 6th period. Although we only shared that class, we shared a couple of the same teachers, so we could still help each other with our work. We really bonded in art class. Our entire group of friends was made in that class. Other than bonding & making new friends together, not much happened.

8th grade, best year ever. We both made it in to Advanced Art (without having to take Intermediate Art. We skipped an entire class because we're fucking awesome.) Our new principle decided that this year would be the start of an A/B block schedule. We would be getting an extra class, a total of 8 classes. On A Day, we'd go to 4 classes for a total of 90 minutes in each class. On B Day, we'd go to the rest of our classes. Each day, the lunch schedule would change, depending on your third period. Fortunately, we shared the same lunch on both days.. but I only got to see her on A days in Art. It was late in May that I found out something new about her--or, us. The Advanced Art program at our school was always asked to participate in a high school art gallery. The entire class would draw something (we'd use these little crayola chalk things to draw animals.) & the teacher & high school teacher would both select the ones that are most unique. Norma's was chosen, & mine was, too. We both needed to be present at the gallery display, since it was for a grade. Norma didn't have a ride, so I offered to pick her up. At the time, my favorite aunt was living with us. (Her husband had been deported from the country, & she moved in with us for a few months; she couldn't afford to pay rent by herself.) We would be picking her up, dropping my cousin off at the gym, & then we'd go to the high school where the gallery was taking place.

As soon as Norma made herself comfortable, my aunt commented that she looked familiar. She shrugged it off a few seconds later. We spent a few minutes at the gallery--until the teacher made sure we checked in for our grade. We dropped Norma back at her house, just as her mother had gotten back from work. My aunt & her mother talked for a while... Apparently, they knew each other. On the ride back home, my aunt explained things to me. My biological father used to work alongside Norma's father in a bakery, back in the early 2000s when he first arrived in the US. My aunt used to work with her mother at a café... After a while, they each went their own separate ways. I thought it was kind of cool--our families already knew each other!

At the end of our 8th grade graduation, we remained great friends, along with all our other friends from Art. It was a sad, sad, day for me. We'd all be going to different schools, we'd make different friends... what if we never saw each other again? A week before graduation, we came up with a plan; the neighborhood I lived in at the time had a pool for those living in the neighborhood. On the last day of school, we would all walk to my place & we'd buy food along the way. Then, we'd go swimming & hang out. It sounded amazing... But, that didn't happen. Norma's parents wouldn't let her come over, & all our other friends couldn't make it.

In July, I saw Norma again on the 4th of July. I was at a friend's house when Norma arrived with her brother. My aunt had a cousin, who was the father of my friend Vanessa. Vanessa was Norma's cousin, & my aunt is cousins with my biological father... does that make Norma & I cousins? I don't know.

Later that month, she contacted me through Facebook to tell me that she moved, & she'd be attending my school. I was SO FUCKING EXCITED! The school I went to-- not a single student from my middle school came there. Out of everyone that I recognized, I recognized 3. 3 out of 2000 students from middle school. Vanessa would be there, too... We both agreed to sit with each other at lunch, & we'd say hi to each other in the hallways. At the Freshman orientation, we all went together & it was kind of awesome. The marching band played & dance with us, & it was absolutely amazing. I thought, "Is high school just like this!? I'm in love!" Haha, nope. High school's nothing like the Freshman orientation. Absolutely nothing compared to it... It's nothing like High School Musical.

Our agreement to sit with each other? Didn't happen. Our agreement to say hi in the hallways? Didn't happen. The first semester, I shared Algebra 1 with Norma, & we sat next to each other. I shared English & Crossfit with Vanessa, but she was too busy with her middle school friends to talk to me. Second semester, I still had Algebra with Norma, & I still had English with Vanessa. Norma & I both had Crossfit in different periods, but we decided to switch out to P.E. (We were too lazy for Crossfit) We ended up having the same P.E. class with the same teacher, hooray! We shared gym lockers & shorts. Norma apparently had two friends in the class, & I had tons of girls from my 3rd period Spanish class... It was awkward being in that class. At the end of freshman year, we were still friends, but we talked a lot less than we did in 8th grade.

The school year of 2014 was different. We didn't share any classes; I was promoted to 90% honors classes, & she was a regular student. We sat together at lunch on the first day of school, but that was because she didn't have anyone to sit with. The second day of school, she found her other friends. We completely stopped talking to each other. I messaged her through Facebook ONCE, & it was for help... When we talked in for person the next day, it was for less than a minute, & it was incredibly awkward. Freshman year, I'd wait for my parents every day under a specific tree. She'd stop by with her brother & Vanessa, & they'd keep me company. Or, sometimes they'd just say, "Heeeeeey Bianca!" from a distance, & I'd say "Heeeeey!" back. That stopped. Now, she doesn't even bother looking in the direction of the tree. She walks home with her new bestie, the girl who wears too much make-up & says it's all natural.

She occasionally likes my posts on Facebook. Just a few weeks ago, she unfollowed me on Instagram, & I unfollowed her back. She still has me as a friend on Facebook, & I doubt she even has my phone number now. Her birthday was on the same day as Elías', but I completely forgot to wish her a happy birthday.

You know... when people say high school changes people, they're right. It really tests your relationship with someone. You can start off freshman year with thousands of friends, but by senior year, you'll only have 3 close friends. Those friends will probably be there for you, forever... We moved to a new school, which would mean we'd make new friends. She made new friends, & so did I. The thing is--they already had their own clique from middle school. She's the only one I had. My friends-- the majority of them were El's friends. They were seniors when I was a freshman. They're all gone now. I have my other friends, but I'm not as close to them as I was to Norma.

If I'm being honest with myself, I kind of miss her. I miss talking to her. I don't think she realizes this, but I truly considered her my best friend--my ONLY best friend. I guess she didn't see me that way. She has her own best friend. I miss our middle school years, where we laughed & shared our funny stories. I miss the times where we'd both draw in class, & laugh about the boys with goofy smiles. I miss all that.

Why did this all happen?

Can we ever go back to our middle school years? Remember when we all went to see the release of the first Hunger Games movie? Remember the time we watched movies in art class? Remember when OUR class was the FIRST to go on a field trip to paint a mural? Remember when OUR drawing won the mural contest? Do you remember how excited we were that TWO middle school girls beat every other high school drawing? Do you remember how we painted the mural & you wrote on my green shirt as a reminder of what we accomplished together? Where did all of that go? Will they just... remain as memories that are slowly being forgotten? Did you forget about those silly talks about college? Did you finish playing your part in my life? Are your new friends better than me?

Why happened to us?


It's really hard for me to be social. It's really hard for me to make friends. I sincerely thought we'd be friends until the end. Remeber when we talked about going to college together? I do. I would buy the disco ball, you would buy the cotton candy machine, Sophia would rent out a circus, Fatima would buy our Mercedes... we'd all live in the same house, or the same dorm room. I haven't forgotten any of that, have you? We said we'd always be friends.

I guess not.

But... thank you. You, & everyone else, made me enjoy my middle school years the most. Everyone says middle school will be the toughest part of your school years... but not for me. They were the best years of my life, thanks to you & our art gang.

I guess you'll go your way, & I'll go my way. I'll keep that shirt from the mural as a reminder of the good times we all shared.