Cheese
Story of a Girl
Guy is back!
"I don't Obamacare about your country, Guy." - Elí 2014
"I'll Palin on everything you love." - Guy 2014
Well...
Guy FINALLY came back from his trip to Mexico & oh my gosh... I realized that I missed him a lot more than I had thought.
Guy knows how to make me happy. Whenever I'm down, I can count on him to cheer me up. We have similar living situations, so we can also relate to things going on at home. He's also Leó's best friend, & it's nice to see them play fight again over stupid shit.
*playing Go Fish*
Guy: Go fish.
Elías: Bro, you have my card. I just saw you hide the 2.
Guy: I only have 5's.
Elías: YOU JUST PUT IT IN YOUR SOCK. YOU HAVE A 2. GIVE ME THE FUCKING CARD.
Guy: I don't have your damn 2! *a pause... squints eyes* You callin' me a liar?
Elías: *squints eyes* ...I'm not calling you a truther.
Me: *recording for snapchat* Did you just make a Drake & Josh reference?
Elías: Yes, si, sim, oui, da, hai--
Guy: THAT'S IT. YOU GOIN' DOWN, YA MULTILINGUAL BITCH. I ONLY SPEAK AMERICAN & MEXICAN. YOU'RE SPEAKIN' SHIT ABOUT ME IN-- FUCKING FRANCE SHIT.
Me: American & Mexican aren't--
Elías: ONE ON ONE, FIGHT ME, YOU LITTLE MEXICAN SHIT.
*guys start play fighting*
Me: I need to buy more popcorn.
and then a few minutes later... Guy knows how to make fun of El's dad. (Which is fucking hilarious to all of us.)
*we're all in the bathroom, taking turns brushing our teeth*
Me: I want a beard... I want a REAL beard-- a MAN beard. I'm the manliest female I know. I'm gonna grow a beard in 2015. Hashtag goals.
Guy: *turns to look at Elías* Aye, little boy. When will you ever grow some facial hair?
Elías: I don't know, DAD. *sprays shaving cream on his face*
*3 minutes later*
Guy: Maybe he'll grow facial hair when his father respects him.
Elías: *spits out water & start laughing/choking* Too fucking soon, haha. (It's funny if you know about their father-son relationship.)
Guy isn't himself when he doesn't make the occasional That's-What-She-Said jokes, which I love... sometimes.
*cleaning the backyard of broken tree branches*
Me: Oh... The branch is stuck in the mud. Please, get it out.
Guy: That's what she said... politely.
Elías: God fucking damnit, /I/ was going to say that!
Me: I'm stabbing the both of you in my mind right now.
Elías: Very cry.
Guy: So hate.
Elías: Much sad.
Guy: Wow. *sad face*
Me: I'm going to chop you both into pieces, stuff your body parts in my blender, & feed them to the homeless cats.
Guy: Someone finally found their creativity while I was gone.
Me: YOU'RE GOING FIRST.
I also realized that I did NOT miss when they were Idiot 1 & Idiot 2. I remember the one time when they almost burned my house down... Almost. Someone *coughGUYcough* didn't know that you don't pour water on electronics to put out a fire.
OH.
Renett came over for a few hours since she got in a fight with her parents... She met Guy for the first time.
Me: This is my neighbor Guy. He's nice if you don't touch his hair.
Renett: What guy?
Me: THAT GUY. *snickering*
Guy: *glaring at me* I don't like you right now.
Renett: Wait, that's YOUR name?
Guy: Maybe.
Renett: Who the FUCK names their child that? It's fucking awesome & they should adopt me.
Guy: I see someone's a fan of AOT.
Renett: Oh my god yesssss. Have you seen it?
Guy: It wasn't half as bad as I thought.
Renett: YOU FUCKER. I like you.
They're both gonna get along so well, ahhh.
Also, this happened ten minutes after:
Elías: I don't Obamacare about your country, Guy.
Guy: That's it, bud, I'm going to Romney you so, so hard.
Elías: I'll punch you in the Bush if you do.
Guy: I'll Palin on everything you love.
My two favorite guys. :^)
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