Story of a Girl
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2014-12-27 10:14:55 (UTC)

Nostalgic Rush - Lost & Forgotten

12/27/14 12:33AM

I was hoping I could download Fun Run 2 on an old phone of mine; my current phone doesn't have enough free space, & I can't delete any of the things that are taking up space... At first, I was hoping I could use my brother's phone, but he was being a little shit. After a while, I decided I'd look for my old phone instead, & I'd delete the apps I had on there. WEEEEEEELL, I didn't find my phone... but I DID find something...

My old PSP.

I remember asking for a PSP a few Christmases ago; I asked for one JUST so I could play a game I had bought. (I buy games without having the console... BECAUSE LOGIC. It wasn't the first time I did it.)

I tried turning my PSP on for the first time since forever, but it didn't have any charge. Luckily, I found an old charger that had different cables for DS, Gameboy, etc. I plugged it in to the outlet & let my PSP charge for a while. Once it was done, I turned it on. It asked for an initial setup, which asked for the date & time... It showed the year that I had originally gotten it; 2010. Holy shit, has it really been that long? Only 4 years...

Anyway, I added the date & time & I noticed I had 702MB left, so I decided to skim through all my files. At first, I looked through all my music files... I'm SO glad that I did. I had such a nostalgic rush-- I had not heard ANY of the songs in such a long time... I'm definitely adding them to my music files on my phone whenever I get the chance. (Black Eyed Peas - Meet Me Halfway & 2Pac - Dear Mama. Ahhh, good vibes.) After listening to a few songs, I decided to move onto the photos. After clicking on the camera icon, I saw the first two photos.. I instantly thought, "Fuck no. I don't even want to scroll down any further." But I secretly wanted to. "NAH, YOU WANNA SCROLL DOWN. SCROLL DOOOOOOWN. FURTHER, FURTHER, YESSSSS. YESSSS. OH MY GOD KEEP SCROLLING FURTHER. YASS. THAT'S IT."

I deleted A SHITLOAD of photos. A lot of the photos were just pictures of cartoon characters & an ex of mine. I also found stupidly funny/horrible mirror selfies taken on my flip phone of Elías & I before we dated... Of course I kept them. (I need a reminder to show them to him once he gets back. I'll probably forget to show him, since he doesn't get home until late.)

I scrolled down, deleted more photos, until I started coming up to photos of my dogs. THAT'S when a photo really made me all nostalgic.

It was in 7th grade. It was late in the afternoon, when I saw a dog walking by the road. (The neighborhood I lived in was horrible, & didn't have any sidewalks.) What caught my interest was that this dog was limping... Was its leg broken? I felt bad, & I REALLY wanted to help it get better. I ran inside the small house we lived in, & grabbed my favorite Spongebob Squarepants blanket (My father had given it to me when I first arrived to the US at the age of 5. It was incredibly special to me.) The dog limped over to the blanket, & lay down on it. I poured some dog food on the ground, & I gave the poor dog a small bowl filled with water. It was cold outside since it was fall, so I tried to wrap the blanket around the dog... I noticed it had a dingy. Huh, it was a He.

I woke up the next morning to see that the dog was still outside my house, sleeping. I refilled the bowl with water, & poured more dog food on the ground. My mom wasn't very happy that I was wasting OUR dog food on a stray dog-- but he was limping! I couldn't just leave the poor dog to suffer! It was cold out, he was limping, & he didn't have a home. 12 year old me NEEDED to help the animal, no matter what.

It spent... maybe a week(?) at my house. My parents tried shooing it away, but... I wouldn't let them shoo away the dog.. One morning, I was getting ready to board the school bus. The dog followed me to the bus stop. One of my best friend's cousins (I hated him) asked if the dog was mine, & I said no. Everyone else surrounded the dog to pet him until the bus arrived. As I boarded the bus, the dog tried to FOLLOW me. I thought it was pretty cute, & I REALLY wanted to bring him to school with me... but I couldn't. The bus driver closed the doors, & I could faintly hear the dog whimper. As the bus started to drive away, the dog followed behind. Before we left the area, I could see him walking back to the house.

The entire day at school, I worried if the dog was okay. My mom shooed him away whenever I wasn't there...

When I got home, I was surprised that the dog wasn't there. I had suspected that my mom had successfully shooed him after several failed attempts, but apparently, I was wrong. My neighbor's little boy said that a woman had picked up the dog... I was heartbroken. I tried to take care of that dog as my own... I tried to help it back to health.

And he was gone.

I cried for a while, but I eventually moved on. It was still upsetting-- knowing that I wouldn't see the dog sleeping in the morning.

Going through my files & finding a photo of him really tugged at my heart. Actually, I teared up a little when I saw the two images I had of him.

I love animals-- I love dogs. I HATE when people abuse of them in any way. He was hurt, & I wanted to do whatever I could to make sure I could help him recover. 12 year old me loved taking care of animals; 15 year old me loves animals even more than before.

Gah. I loved that little dog.

I wonder if he's still out there somewhere. I hope he's found a caring family.. Maybe I'll run into him someday on the streets... Nah, just some wishful thinking.

I thought writing about the dog would be nice, since I wouldn't be turning my PSP on for another year or two. I thought, "Hey, you'll probably forget you even had photos from 3 years ago. Write it down somewhere." Writing about it made me feel a lot more nostalgic & I'm now I have tears in my eyes. Ahhhh, this sucks.

While scrolling through the images, I found photos of my old hamsters, & I LOVED those tiny fuckers.

I had them for almost a year... My mother had gone to the swapmeet, & she came home with 2 little hamsters. She THOUGHT they were boys, so my younger sister Briana & I named them Zack & Cody, from the Disney show.

Well, one day, we were coming home from school. We both ran upstairs to our room, where Zack & Cody lived in the same hamster cage. Briana started screaming, "Ama, ¡hay cucarachas con los hámsters!" (Mom, there's cockroaches with the hamsters!) My mom came running in to tell us... those weren't cockroaches.

It turned out to be that Zack & Cody ended up reproducing... & Zack ended up being renamed to Lady. My mom went to Petsmart, where she bought a seperate cage for Cody, my hamster. Lady & her 3 (I think) babies lived in the original cage. WELL, a few months later after they were all developed, the BABIES had began to reproduce... 4 new additions to the family.

At the time, we had 3 dogs; Taz, Bella, & Linda. Linda was the newest addition to our family of dogs... One day, we were letting the new babies walk around in a small area-- with the supervision from my mom. Linda came running over to where we were... she had stepped on one of the newest babies. My siblings began yelling at her for having stepped on the baby-- of course, the dog had no idea. (We ended up giving away Linda after a few weeks) The rest of the hamsters were placed in their cage, & my mother rushed the baby hamster to a vet nearby, where the hamster was taken care of... It was barely 3 weeks old; it didn't survive. At first I was a little upset, but we already had a family of 8-- we'd be okay without one.

A few weeks after the death of the baby, something happened. My sister's hamster, Lady, found ways to escape from her cage, but she'd always be back by morning. Since she escaped her cage so much, my mom bought a large storage box, where we kept the two cages stacked on top of each other-- Lady's at the bottom, & Cody's on top.. Briana sleepwalks... It was one night where Lady was escaping from her cage that Briana began sleepwalking. She walked over to the box where the cages where. She picked up my hamster's cage & dropped it back into its place-- it landed on top of Lady. In the morning, Briana woke up to find Lady missing. "But how'd she get out? There's literally no place for them to go inside the box." It was then that she found Lady's smashed body all over the bottom of the cage. "I didn't do that.. I couldn't have. I would never kill Lady!" She still tells herself this whenever I bring up Lady into the topic. I honestly don't know what to say, she did... but she didn't.

I was still in 7th grade, & Briana was in 4th or 5th.. My mom didn't really know how to have a "funeral" for a hamster, but we WANTED a proper funeral-- like, for humans. We dug up a small area as the burial site. We wrapped Lady in some napkins, & let her rest.

With the death of the mother, the original babies & the new babies... they didn't get along. At all. There was an albino hamster. (our hamsters were all a golden-brown-ish color-- we had NO idea how they produced an albino.) The albino picked fights with ALL the other hamsters.. It was to a point where they'd draw blood from each other. Once it had gotten to that point, we decided we'd take them to some sort of shelter, who were willing to take them in. On the way there, we placed all the hamsters in a box-- worst decision ever. /I/ was the one holding the box, & the entire drive there, they fought. One of them died along the way. Watching them slowly killing each other was something I don't remember all too well, fortunately. My mom took the box from me, & I never saw them again. (I have very few photos & videos of them scattered across all my USBs & memory cards.)

My hamster, Cody, was the only one we kept. As an extremely early Christmas gift, my mother had bought him a large hamster house. The house included A LARGE feeding bowl... I was worried that he was eating too much. I tried to feed him less, but he was getting bigger every day. It was a few days after the dog left that Cody passed away in his sleep; he had fallen asleep in one of the play tubes, & since he was too big to move freely in the tubes, he had gotten stuck.

I remember going outside to cry in the same place I had last seen the limping dog. I remember my mom telling me, "He's in a better place now."

She never bought hamsters after Cody's death.

Whenever we go to a swapmeet, or any store with animals, I look at the hamsters first. There are those that think they're disgusting rodents, but after having one of my own, I think they're absolutely adorable... Maybe it's because mine was an angelic little boy. The nostalgic rush for me was too much-- I was NOT ready.

I think I'm just never going to turn my PSP on ever again.

(Since I'm writing about my hamster... I was watching Glee one time, & I was eating popcorn... I let Cody walk around on my bed-- since he was the angelic little hamster. Well... I was falling asleep & my mouth was open... I felt something furry in my mouth. I started choking, & Cody eventually walked back out... THAT'S disgusting, haha.)

(Also also aaaaaaalsooooo; I really liked the title for this entry. I was listening to Elízabeth ramble about a necklace she lost, & that gave me the idea for the title. Lost, as in the dog I cared for, & Forgotten for the hamsters we raised. (I never forgot about mine, just the babies.))

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