Peutetre

Peutetre
2014-12-27 01:06:45 (UTC)

the ache

every cell in my body aches.
sore.
aching.
the ache of loneliness
not superficial loneliness but the loneliness of being rejected to and from your very core.
the ache of not knowing who you are
or what you've become
the ache of not knowing why you are
the ache of not being who you used to be
or who you're supposed to be
the ache of not being who you used to be
or what you used to be
the ache of not knowing how you've gotten here
the ache of knowing that you once knew God
once KNEW God and now....
the ache of knowing that there is no hope for anything better than pretend hope
the ache of not having pretend hope
the ache of being too weak for this
and knowing it
and feeling guilty for your weakness
and feeling
bad
forever
since ever
never
the ache of life
the ache of not wanting death but just not wanting to live
because living hurts
and has hurt
forever
since ever
forever.
never
knowing
when it will stop
never thinking it will stop




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