nerd™

the anger games
2014-12-09 10:46:40 (UTC)

everything is fake.

“ The thing about chameleoning your way through life is that it gets to where nothing is real." - John Green

i have never read a quote that made me question my whole existence.. it's creepy u know
but it's true. i don't have a personality do i?
i just pretend all the time.
i study alot because i don't have friends. and nerds don't have friends. at least now i belong to a group lol
i draw just because Farha does as well
i bought a guitar last year just because everybody thinks guitars r cool and i don't even know how to play it
i am all smiling and laughing at grandma's even when i want to cry because everyone there is happy to be visiting grandma but me
i lie. i lie alot. i think that's enough to make me the most fake person alive.
i don't even know why do i lie. i mean, i get so nervous sometimes that i think that lying is the only way out but then after it's over i realise that it would have been easier if i didn't lie
but it's not real. nothing is real. i hate drawing. i hate the guitar. i hate going to grandma's. i hate everything
i wish i could be who i want to be but i can't because
A) i can't change all of the sudden because that will bring me too much attention from everyone and i will let some people down
B) i don't know who i want to be.




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