The Rat

2014-11-27 21:58:49 (UTC)

What I Won't Miss

I won't miss:

Your immature behavior
Your binge drinking
You fighting with your dad over stupid shit
Having to deal with your stupid morning routine
Following you around to make sure you don't get too drunk or do drugs
Wondering if you lie to me because you claim you "get confused" and mix up your words
Dealing with you flirting or being WAY too friendly with everyone you meet
Being kept hidden from people you just met or your boss or your family because you're embarrassed of being gay
You getting mad at me when I am depressed and would rather not talk about it
You using my roomates stuff and not asking
You stomping around really loudly because you have no spatial body awareness
You getting mad at me for hanging out with Jill
You talking about stupid fucking art that is not good
Listening to your life plans that aren't realistic because you can't take care of yourself
Your self centered behavior
Eating my sandwich when you have the same exact sandwich
Constantly making me split my food with you instead of getting your own
Your dumb friends that aren't good people
Getting mad when you drink and go out instead of doing your work like you claim you should be
Waiting forever for you to get ready
Listening to you obsess over your looks and make-up and whether you are cool or not
Pretending to laugh at your bad videos you have been making
Hearing the phrase "Don't hit my dog". Nobody is going to fucking hit the dog. Just because Abby is blind does not mean we fucking are.
Making me make your decisions
You acting like a baby
Getting mad at me for dumb shit like not making the pumpkin or using your face wash, which ruined my face because it was too rough
Your slutty behavior
Your need for attention and approval from others to feel good about yourself
How you think you are defined by what you do and not the kind of person you are
You value people based on how "productive" they are
You are not productive
How your past makes you look like a slutty piece of shit with no morals
The nerves of introducing you to people not knowing what you are going to do or say in front of them because you act so inappropriately
Your scary and unsafe driving
I won't have to afford really unecessarily expensive meals
I won't have to be quiet while you plan our day as if you are the only one who wants to do things that day
You making excuses for how you used to treat me

Specific things you did that I have not forgiven you for:

You told me to kill myself and that you hated me over and over when my depression was at it's worst
You hit me in the face constantly and finally gave me a black eye, spiralling me into a nervous breakdown
Saying you wanted to fuck our friends boyfriend while you were supposedly seeing me
Saying you wanted to fuck some guy at a party while I was standing right there
Yelling at me when I did not want to do a drug with you and your shitty friends
Implying you have lied to me or cheated on me and then saying you were just lying about that to get me to break up with you
Flashing two guys behind a bar while drunk
Doing drugs even though we agreed we hated them
Lying about being home when you weren't, and getting mad at me for getting upset about it.
Lying to me about the private dance you got from the stripper and how you "don't remember" what happened even though it had literally just happened less than an hour before I asked

Things I will get out of not being with you:

I won't have to be dragged along on stupid unimportant tasks
I won't get vague drunk texts from you that make me anxious
I will be able to meet girls and talk to them and if I like them I can pursue them
I will be able to find someone who has similar values and ideals to me
I will find someone who I can be more myself around
I can meet someone who will listen to me and be there for me emotionally
I can find someone who can carry an intelligent conversation with me that does not involve our mental health
I can be with someone who will be open about being in a same-sex relationship
I will be with someone and meet their family and actually be acknowledged

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