The Girl with Tar

Quitting For Real
2014-11-26 07:18:18 (UTC)

Day Thirty Five, End of Week Five

Well, these last couple days have been hard. So as an overview of the whole week, I give it a 6 out of 10 for easiness. It's not the 8 I have been feeling, but it's still a positive.

I had orientation with sears today. Tomorrow I have training, and on Friday I have actual work. I feel lucky, to have a job. I feel nervous, to have a job with a big company and not know what to expect. A couple people have told me it's a bad company to work for, a few others have told me it's an alright one. I wonder if my experience will be different. It certainly wasn't with gamestop.

I will work hard in training tomorrow, and try to remember and memorize everything I possibly can. I'll have Thursday to look back on any notes I was smart enough to take, if need be. I probably will. Probably should.

Fuck, I don't know. It feels a little cruel to give me one training day and throw me into the fray on Friday. I hope they put me back in training after Friday.

Tomorrow I'm also going to see a concert with my dad.

I went grocery shopping with him today. We spent less than we thought we would, which is good. But it's also because I went without a few things. Like popcorn. I can always buy another box with my own money. I just didn't want to up the price for him. We also didn't buy beer or anything for the thanksgiving dinner at his friends house. Well, we did buy this weird pie thing ha.

Life is stressing me out a bit, but really it's my own fault for dwelling on all the possible negatives instead of any of the positives.

I bought 2 mg nicotine gum tonight after I realized I was completely out of 4 mg. I don't like it nearly as much. It runs out of nicotine faster. I don't feel satisfied. But my body will adjust within a few days and I won't be so cranky and on edge. And then in a couple weeks again, my body will once more have to adjust. And then in a few weeks, I'll have to adjust again.

But that time, it'll be adjusting to no nicotine.

None.

I know that that isn't going to be easy, but it won't be too hard. I can handle it. I've been through worse before, this will be a breeze.

Fingers crossed.




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