Watasumi Kasai

Complaining about shit
2014-11-21 22:22:21 (UTC)

It won't end

I thought I'd be able to go back to normal in just a few days but that feeling won't leave me. I got to talk to him for a bit yesterday but he ended our chat so quick I felt like crying. The entire thing was a bust and I'm feeling so sad. He also causally mentioned that he was moving. I didn't know he was moving, I had no idea. When did he decide this? Was it his wife's idea? I hate her, she's always there, her and their kids. I hate them all. I hate this! I hate him! I hate everything so much. I just want to be with him for a little while. I wish I could tell him what I feel. Why did this happen again?? I don't get it. I shouldn't have gone out to my uncles house with everyone. I should've stayed home. This is his fucking fault. He's moving further away from me, I already don't get to see him. I should've just kept forcing my feeling onto my friend, that way this wouldn't have happened. I'll never be able to get over him will I? This'll keep going on forever won't it? I don't want that!! I don't want that!! What can I do??! I want this pain to stop, he's not worth it. I just want it to end. I hope that when this has run its corse, I'll be brand new. I don't want to think about another man in my entire life. I want this mindset to be completely obliterated. I want my ability to love to disappear.

I'm thinking I should tell him how I feel. It won't be face to face but I'll at the very least get this shit out of my system.

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