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"Gnossienne No. 1" by Erik Satie [This is a beautiful song. My dad drove me to school this morning and he loves classical music so whenever we're in the car, that's what we listen to. This song reminds me of Donnie Darko]
November 14, 2014 Friday 3:11 PM
In about an hour, I should leave. John is taking a bus here and I shall meet him in person for the first time. Hopefully he's not a murderer. Keeping my fingers crossed, haha. I don't want my death to be a lesson, goddammit.
I'm really scared. Partly because John's gonna be disappointed when he figures out how lame I am but mostly because I am afraid I'm going to be SHOT.
THE BUS STOP IS DOWNTOWN AND shootings happen down there! I'm also not super familiar with the area. Ughhh, anxiety.
I wonder how long he's gonna hang around with me. I wonder how he's getting home.
I probably won't smoke with him because I have to walk and walking in the cold while high is something I have done before. It's not fun. The walk seems a lot longer and I might get hit by a car so nah thanks.
Also, my parents don't know I'm going to hang out with him. I'm praying they don't call Lily's dad like, "Yo, how iz Veronica?" when I'm not really with Lily.
OH MY GOD, SO MANY THINGS CAN GO WRONG.
SO MANY THINGS.
Whatever. The deed is done and I have made plans and it's too late to cancel.
My nails are nice. They're wine red. I'm lightheaded from all this anxiety and I kinda feel like I'm floating. Maybe I could use some weed.
My parents would be so disappointed in me AND I've been worried about my intelligence lately and I know weed makes me lazy and a bit dumb.
BUT I WANT TO RELAX. UGH.
Okay, okay, I have to go get ready now. Bye.
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