LustingforNightmares

tumbleweed
2014-11-11 18:52:10 (UTC)

List Of Appreciation

"Habits (Stay High)" by Tove Lo [I don't do popular songs a lot but I kinda really like how this sounds and it's stuck in my head. The first line reminds me of this really cool series of paintings so LOOK]

http://be-yondrepair.tumblr.com/post/96835994594

^^^ These paintings are RIDICULOUSLY realistic and amazing and beautiful. They make me feel things


5:58 PM


Ughhh I know I'm writing for a third time today, I'm sorry. I don't think I have anything real to say right now but I would like to make lists.

LIST OF APPRECIATION:

1. Lily. She is actually perfect. I mean, obviously she's not perfect and it's probably weird that I love her so fiercely (seriously who knew platonic love could be like that yo) but I don't care, her imperfect-ness only makes her more flawless. It's the kind of aggressive love I have for my sister and my parents and art that makes me cry.

I don't think I could even begin to explain how much she means to me. Really, losing her would literally be a living nightmare. I've actually had nightmares where she died and it was awful. I guess she feels like family which makes sense since we grew up together. God, I love her so much and I never want her to feel pain and awww it hurts but awww.

I've been really nice to her lately and I don't know why?? Usually, I tease her a lot but I've been so nice to everyone lately and I feel different.

SHE STARTED LISTENING TO WELCOME TO NIGHT VALE AND OH MY GOD I LOVE HER!!!! YES!!! That's my favorite show and she is a glow cloud.

2. The creek down the street. It's so beautiful, especially in the fall. It flows but it's so slow and calm.... It looks like a painting and I see trees reflected in the water and they're PERFECT OKAY. Also, it flows into this really great waterfall which ends in what people call the gorge. The gorge is... haha.... GORGEous.... haha.....

3. My hands. They have bad circulation and they're always cold but they are the hands that play piano (not very often anymore.) and they are hands that get compliments. I rarely paint them but I can see my veins traveling across bones and it's beautiful. I call them "man hands" sometimes because they're kinda short and fat but they make really nice art with pencils and they type very fast.

3. Music. Music is what inspires me the majority of the time. I base a lot of my art off songs and they rock me to sleep and sometimes they make me cry (I'm dumb, haha). I love so many genres. Lately, I've been increasingly into Modest Mouse (I'm listening to "The Good Times Are Killing Me" right now) and I love Indie Rock and Indie Folk among other categories.

4. Art. OKAY, DEFINITELY ART. Art actually makes me cry. Okay, a lot of things make me cry and it's a wonder I haven't drowned yet but I mean... art. Sculptures, drawings, paintings... detailed and simple, just everything. I would die a little inside if I ever went blind because I love looking at photographs...

I went to Washington D.C. with my family once (my dad had some science thing to go to) and we went to a museum with a bunch of portraits by Yousuf Karsh. God. He is amazing. Look him up. He did portaits of people like Ernest Hemingway, Audrey Hepburn, Martin Luther King, Grace Kelley, and Georgia O' Keeffe.

I love paintings, especially ones that involve water.

I love it, I just love it, it's amazing and perfect and wow I'm full of love today. Everything is sad but in a beautiful way... It reminds me of white sunlight.

5. Bittersweet crying. I really like crying because it's "discharge" and stuff. I only love crying in private, though. If I'm around other people, tears are a curse.

6. Books!!! BOOKS ARE THE BEST THING EVER INVENTED. THERE IS SOMETHING SO COMFORTING AND FAMILIAR ABOUT WORDS. I DON'T EVEN CARE IF THE BOOK IS BORING. I JUST WANT TO KNOW SO MANY THINGS AND SO I READ. I READ MORE THAN I DRINK WATER, HAHA.

7. Movies!!! This is kind of another form of art (as are books). ugh so beautiful and perfect and a really long, shifting photograph.

8. The Ocean. It scares the crap out of me and the last time I was in it, my sister just barely stopped me from having a panic attack. It's so scary that I kind of love it. I've always wanted to live on the beach, despite being super scared of tsunamis and flood and stuff. I don't know. The ocean is freaky but it deserves my love.

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To Maybe Be Continued. I'm very sleepy from all this love I feel and I can't let myself be lazy because I have homework to do. GOODNIGHT.


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