LustingforNightmares

tumbleweed
2014-11-01 09:54:09 (UTC)

Halloweeeeen

"Losing Touch" by The Killers


November 1, 2014 Saturday 9:54 AM


I'm sleepy.

I just got home from Lily's. Last night was probably as good as I could've realistically hoped it would be. I gave out some candy, dressed up in my skeleton onesie pajamas, and went out with Laney (she was wearing lemur onesie pajamas). We went to a haunted house on my street.

This one guy's hand was on my shoulder at some point and he was going, "Oh shit, oh shit, oh SHIT." He was more scared than we were, haha. I think he goes to my school.

That reminds me, yesterday at school, a kid collapsed in the lunchroom during my lunch period. I'm not sure if he's okay or not but apparently he overdosed on some kind of drug. A girl hugged him from behind and then stepped back and he collapsed.

I thought there was a fight because of the crowd. It was crazy.

I remember hearing some people in the halls saying he died but you can't trust random high schoolers, haha. Seriously, though, I'm not sure if he IS alive.

Um, so yeah, after the haunted house, me and Laney went to Lily's house. No one was there. Her parents were at a party and Lily was trick-or-treating with Marina so we sat on her porch and played chess until Lily and Marina got back.

Then we went inside, talking. Marina was weird. She was... off. Maybe she's always off, though, and maybe I only thought she was "off" because Lily mentioned she had the same thought to Laney.

Anyway, we sat down to watch The Exorcist (1973). Laney left, Lily and I ate popcorn, Marina did stuff on her phone, and about halfway through, I fell asleep.

It wasn't that scary but I'll be honest, I've never watched a girl urinate on a carpet so wow, I guess.
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"Follow You Down To The Red Oak Tree" by James Vincent McMorrow

4:38 PM


I feel quiet which is nice because last night I was having terribly dark, dark thoughts and I would've done anything to forget.

I'm tired.

I HAVE PLANS TONIGHT. I'm going to some haunted hayride and a couple haunted houses with Lily, Aaron, and Laney.

Also, I had a realization yesterday. I WOULD BE SO SEXUAL IF I HAD A BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. Okay, maybe not at first because I'm shy as fuck but I love touching people and I love guys and... Yeah, okay, enough of that.

It's really annoying because I always think I want to write but when I start, it's like everything is gone and

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10:19 PM

LOOK WHAT MY BEAUTIFUL, PERFECT FRIEND WROTE ABOUT ME. SHE CALLS ME ATHENA, MY FAVORITE GREEK GODDESS, AND LOOOK, LOOOK.

"Athena - another one of my few girl friends. she feedbacked me one day, and she's
probably the girl I've met who's most like me. you're so cute, Athena. we have a lot of
the same interests. I love your diary and the way you write. you're so sweet to me and
you're just such a cute person and I love when you're happy. I love you. thank you for
being so nice to me and cheering me up."

I don't talk to a lot of people faithfully. I don't even talk to her that faithfully, even though I probably should. I'm just really bad at it and I'm awkward and ehhh, it never ends well, usually because of me. THAT'S NOT THE POINT AT ALL, SHE SAYS NICE THINGS TO ME :D (I'm talking about imjust_here07, by the way. I don't have a special name for her, I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO PUT)

I WAS ALSO MENTIONED IN ANOTHER DIARY, Blue. YAY. I love when that happens. It makes me feel like maybe I'm not just talking to a white wall with no one on the other side.

----

Today I went to a hayride and two haunted houses with Aaron, Laney, and Lily. It was actually really fun.

I got scared a couple times and, ahh. In the first haunted house, there was this long, pitch black hallway with walls that pressed against you (they were tents. a worker later said, "what does this remind me of? A vagina.") and Aaron got super scared. She started to panic. I guess she's claustrophobic.

I waited with her for like a minute and hugged her briefly. Some other girls came in behind us and stayed around to ask what they could do and whatnot (I hope they didn't think I was rude but at first, I tried getting them to go away because I thought it would make Aaron more anxious). Then, Lily's dad, Pablo (he's so nice. He's about as cool as my own dad so yeah, only in a more sporty, psychology way while my dad is all science and music. Pablo was a therapist.)
came back to us and yeah. Eventually, they turned on a flashlight so Aaron wouldn't feel so panicked and got her through the hallway. I stayed behind because I wanted to be scared which required the darkness.

So yeah, I ended up in the back and it was okay. One of the workers ran into my face and it hurt soooo bad. Like for a minute, I actually thought I was going to get a migraine. Also, I stopped being scared after that moment so there went the magic.

The second haunted house was better. For one thing, it was extremely dark. Also, my group was just me and Lily and Laney which made it scarier. THEY MADE ME GO FIRST BECAUSE I'M THE SHORTEST. That's okay because I got more scared which was nice.

THERE WAS A REALLY NICE GUY THERE. HE SCARED US AND I ACCIDENTALLY TOUCHED HIM AND I WAS NERVOUSLY LAUGHING AND SAYING, "SORRY I TOUCHED YOU" AND HE WAS ALL, "THAT'S OKAY, AS LONG AS YOU TOUCH ME ABOVE THE WAIST, BELOW IS YOUR CHOICE" OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT AND HE HAD A REALLY NICE VOICE BUT WHEN HE TOOK OFF HIS MASK HE LOOKED LIKE HE WAS TWENTY FIVE OR SOMETHING.

He kinda guided us the rest of the way and he kept scaring me. I think he was kinda into Lily because he actually stopped us to look at her eyes and compliment them. He said we were pretty, yay. Darkness does wonders for my beauty, haha.

----

DID I MENTION THAT IF I HAD A BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW, I'D BE REALLY TOUCHY-FEELY??? I definitely would, though. If I touch you, I really care about you because I hate touching strangers and I hate touching boys if I don't know them. I just get uncomfortable and I think weird thoughts and it's just not good.

So if I touch you randomly or hug you or something, then I probably love you (and I don't mean I'm in love with you, I mean I love you, okay? There's a difference and you probably realize that but I felt the need to make it clear, anyway).


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