LustingforNightmares

tumbleweed
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2014-10-26 13:37:00 (UTC)

I MISS THE HELL OUTTA YOU


"La Fee Verte" by Kasabian [LISTEN TO THIS SONG, IT REMINDS ME OF THE BEATLES. I mean, he mentioned Lucy In The Sky, so how can it not bUT STILL, HIS VOICE SOUNDS SO SIMILAR AND THE TRIPPY BACKGROUND MUSIC AND UGH it's just nice and it reminds of the stories I used to imagine going along with Beatles songs and yeahhhh. It also reminds me of my dad and how he compares every band to either classical music or the beatles, neither of which you can ever beat in his opinion. He's kinda right.]

October 26, 2014 Sunday (ew) 1:41 PM

MEMORY OF THE DAY: My dad, always tuning the radio to classical music. Me, listening to his iPod which was full to the brim of every Beatle's song ever, Tracy Chapman, Bach (his favorite composer), Mozart, and a bunch of other classical songs.

My dad, reading me harry potter at night. Sometimes Calvin & Hobbes, sometimes Winnie The Pooh, and I remember a lot of Dr. Seuss (he is still my favorite children's author).

My dad, playing his viola for hours on end regularly since he was like ten (thats like forty years man). My dad, also playing the piano, the recorder, the flute, and a few other strange instruments that lie scattered around our house.

My dad, answering my every question with some elaborate explanation. One time, on the fly, he COMPLETELY MADE UP an entire scientific explanation as to how bundt cakes came to exist (he said they originally formed naturally and then explained how there was a mold made out of slowly weathered rock and then he went on to explain everything else).

My dad and me discussing people, philosophy, religion, and fandoms (Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Harry Potter, Doctor Who, etc.).

Wow, my dad can be annoying, but he's cool as hell.

-----

My dream last night was weird. I lived in a group home for troubled teens with pretty much all the people I used to know, my current friends, and people from Peer Leadership.

I think Brock was the counselor (surprise, surprise).

I was listening to this song a lot last night and I read it was about absinthe so I had a dream that a couple of us took sips of Absinthe. At first, it tasted like vodka, but apparently my brain dislikes that memory because soon it was fruity tasting, like soda or something.

I think we all got slightly drunk of tiny sips of absinthe. Erica was the first.

J was there and I don't understand why he's in my dreams so much. We don't even talk anymore (which is really sad. I hate when friendship fade). Maybe it's because I see him so much in school. I think I was hanging out with J and one other person (a girl but I can't remember who) in my dream. We were all stumbling around, leaning on each other. I dunno.

----

I miss my cousin a lot. He poked me on facebook yesterday. DAXTON, WHERE ARE YOU? HOW ARE YOU?

God, I miss him.

I know I always ask the same questions whenever I write about him but I'm just so worried and curious. Are you still seeing things, Dax? Are the monsters there? Are you sleeping? Are you getting visions? Can you explain to me what exactly it means to be Wiccan? Does my uncle know you are Wiccan? Probably not. His whole family faithfully attends a Christian (or Catholic, I dunno) church.

Dax, how are you? Do you feel okay? Are you depressed? How's your youtube channel? What's the last thing you built on Minecraft? What video games have you been playing? How's your girlfriend? She's really pretty. You two are cute.

Fuck! I really, really hope you're okay. I feel like we didn't have enough time over the summer. We only saw each other for a week and we only started talking a couple days after I arrived.

I kinda hope you don't read this because I feel a bit ridiculous saying "I miss you" and "I love you" and "I'm worried" but I am. Even though I'd never say it to your face.

Sorry. Our night time talks were really nice, though. You're so easy to talk to.

Um... so yeah. I miss the fuck outta you, can you tell?

----

Sorry for apologizing so much yesterday. I just felt so guilty. I still kinda feel guilty but not as much. I'm sorry my words are so scattered this weekend. I keep having these quick thoughts that somehow I need to make permanent so I write them down as fast as possible and then I move onto the next thought.

So... where's the next thought? I'm ready for you now... Hello? Thoughts? Where the hell did you go?


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