LustingforNightmares

tumbleweed
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2014-10-25 13:53:54 (UTC)

Wily


"Stereo" by Mike Mains & The Branches [I quite love this song]

"Well, don't be so rational,"
I'd rather that than casually throw all my dreams away.
Life's not some ship you sail only when you're feeling passionate,
You're in it, you're in it,
So get some courage, kid, and why don't you grow up?
...
I've got a dream catcher above my bed,
So I can shake the demons out of my head and get some sleep.
I think that's what I need.


1:55 PM

I'm not done, I am so not done. I am so alive with creativity and energy and thoughts and inspiration and clutter.

I will make lists since they make me feel a little more in control.

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NAMES I LIKE:

J.D. (I like names that begin with J and I like the letter D)

Lydia (I think this name sounds like a babbling brook)

Gus (this is an adorable name)

Aubrey/Audrey (Audrey reminds me of Audrey Hepburn and she's kind of perfect)

Daxton (this is my cousin's name and he is dark and funny and if he were a book, he'd definitely be John Dies At The End. Plus, his name is just cool as fuck)

Toofa (this is the name of the natural limestone things in Mono Lake only it's spelled with a U, not two O's. I'm naming my next cat Toofa. Mono Lake is beautiful by the way.)

Rhiannon (like the Fleetwood Mac song. it's gorgeous and mysterious and "she is like a cat in the dark and then she is the darkness")

Ashton (I love this name??? it reminds me of a phoenix. Coolest fictional animal ever. They rise out of the fucking ashes of their own bodies)

Oliver (reminds me of colors and my friend and Olive's. I just think it's a beautiful name that sounds really smooth and stuff.)

Lera (this sounds all mysterious and nice)

Letha (reminds me of the world Lethal. This name reminds me of art and the character Letha in Hemlock Grove)

Gwyneth (reminds me of the Middle Ages and beautiful dresses)

Myra (a mysterious sounding name, kind of hypnotic and unusual and simply awesome)

Cecil (THIS NAME SOUNDS SO SHARP AND COOL. This is the name of the Welcome To Nightvale radio host whose voice is amazing)

Wren (reminds me of fragility and pretty birds and flying)

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A COUPLE QUOTES:

"The thing about an anxiety disorder is that you know it is stupid. You know with all your heart that it wasn’t a big deal and that it should roll off of you. But that is where the disorder kicks in; Suddenly the small thing is very big and it keeps growing in your head, flooding your chest, and trying to escape from under your skin. You know with all of your heart that you’re being ridiculous and you hate every minute of it. The fact that many people don’t recognize or have patience for your illness only makes everything worse." -unknown


"Tuesday is a joke. A terrible, terrible joke." -Welcome to Nightvale, Cecil, episode 34: A Beautiful Dream


"Remember: if you see something, say nothing and drink to forget." -Welcome To Nightvale, Cecil, episode 2: Glow cloud


"We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except the memory of the smell of smoke and a presumption that once, our eyes watered." - Tom Stoppard (I heard this on Criminal Minds and it's beautiful)

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QUICK RANT:

I love Criminal Minds because I end up relating way too much to the criminals themselves. I feel so bad for them, i feel sad that they've already reached the point of no return.

It's just so sad and they're so broken. They are way beyond repair and there is no going back for them, no giving back lives.

It's just so sad.

-----

WORDS I LOVE

Clusterfuck (what? it's wonderful)

Crooked (ahh this makes my brain feel nice)

Karass (I learned this from Kurt Vonnegut's "Cat's Cradle" and I love what it means: A network or group of people who, unknown to themselves, are somehow affiliated or linked, specifically to fulfill the will of God. It was mentioned in the book Whirligig by Paul Fleischman.)

Tessellate (just beautiful)

Atrophy (reminds me of "a tragedy")

Decay (I do love thinking about decay)

Fuck (a word perfect for expressing sharp feelings)

Fragile (it sounds like what it means)

Aurous (I think it means containing gold. Isn't it beautiful?)

Bloodstain (I don't know why i love this so much. Someone's life, staining something else. Their blood, their cells, it's theirs and theirs only and it's not where it belongs. Why is it not where it belongs?)

Circadian Rhythm (These words sound like a lullaby)

Pensive (how I feel most of the time and I think it's perfect)

Smidgen (so CUTE. CAN I NAME MY NEXT PET SMIDGEN? Aw, i can't. I'm already naming it Toofa)

Effemeral (my nice emotions seem to be this way)

Benevolent - this word was used pretty frequently in Frankenstein (is it pretentious to add ":the modern prometheus" to the title?) and so it reminds me of the terrible beauty Mary Shelley wrote, woot

Cerebral (reminds me of the colors used in brain scans. it also reminds me of Cerberus, the hell hound in Greek Mythology.)

Thestral (these are the winged horse creatures who pulled the wagon things in Harry Potter. You can only see them if you've seen death and I love that idea)

Benign (beautiful and harmless)

Whimsical (reminds me of whirligigs and colorful rooms)

Transcendental (the sky is in this word)

Demise (death yo)

Effervescent (how can you not like this word?)

Wily ("skilled at gaining an advantage, especially deceitfully.")

Nostalgia (it sounds like childhood memories and the smell of cookies baking in the next room, doesn't it?)

OKAY THE REST OF THE LIST IS TOO LONG SO GOOD AFTERNOON. I FEEL SLIGHTLY LESS ERRATIC,


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