nintendojezz

The Marble Hornet Entries
2014-10-16 07:23:20 (UTC)

I tipped over the edge

Pain. Sometimes it's a good thing, other times it's not. I was sitting in front of my computer in my room, string hand and marks around my neck. The life around me had fallen to pieces and I honestly didn't expect to last long. It all begins in the morning with a diary entry about montana. I know I shouldn't have done it and I know I was an idiot for doing it but I did it anyway. From the moment I did, regret darkened my way and stayed with me for a while. Even though montana and I talked it out, the regret was still there. I boarded my train and sat there in silence thinking about all the things I did wrong, this regret forces me to think this. On my journey to school I received a notification on a reply to the diary entry, I was told that it was bad on my part to do such a thing and essentially having them back up montana. I know it was bad and having that said made me fall deeper in this hole. I knew the tipping point was coming but I needed to fight it off more. I got to school and said that I would do this flight as food as possible. I did my pre licence, and failed miserably. Not one thing was correct out of the entire flight. I didn't know if I wanted to do this anymore and telling mum and dad that their going to pay more for this course, caused them to snap. They told me their support for me ends if I don't get my licence. They won't help me with anything and I would have to pay them back ever cent. I went to my room and just sat there thinking of everything I have done wrong in my life. Seeing people I haven't spoken to in a while and wondering if it was my fault. I over loaded my mind and I couldn't take it. String wrapped around my neck, tight enough so I can breath, the pain hits me and all that regret is soon fading but it doesn't end, it continues to get worse and worse, all because I doubt myself of my flying and because I'm remembering how I ended the friendships, I'm such an idiot.




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