LustingforNightmares

tumbleweed
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2014-10-03 07:30:56 (UTC)

Picasso

"The Killing Moon" by Echo and the Bunnymen [yay a song about death!]

Under blue moon I saw you
So soon you'll take me
Up in your arms
Too late to beg you or cancel it
Though I know it must be the killing time
Unwillingly mine

October 3, 2014 Friday 7:33 AM


Yesterday, the 2nd, was the day that Donnie met Frank for the first time in 1988. Approximately 26 days seventeen hours remain until the world ended for Donnie Darko. Of course, yesterday at midnight, it was 28 days (...and 6 hours, 42 minutes, 12 seconds).

EXPLAINING: I am a big fan of Donnie Darko. I love that movie and I've seen it many times. Also, I'm shuffling through my favorite movie's list and Donnie Darko is the first one on there.

This entry is honoring October 2nd, not only because that is when Frank appeared to Donnie, but because it was a good day.

I didn't have time to write yesterday and I barely have time, now, so I gotta hurry the hell up.

First: my reflection changes everyday. Today, it seems like my eyes are too high up, and my nose is too big and short. My lips seem too low on my face. I feel like I'm looking at a fucking Picasso painting in the mirror.

I have finished reading A Monster Calls by Patrick Ness. It was sad and it's going to make a beautiful movie, but it didn't hit me very hard. It only got me thinking about when my mom had cancer and my dad picked me up in the middle of the day for a lovely trip to the hospital. I'm also remembering that I didn't get in a lot of trouble that year, even though I was with a "bad crowd" (how bad can it get when you're fucking eight years old) and I think that was due to my teacher seeing my mom with a scarf wrapped around her bald head.

Now, I'm reading John Dies At The End. Already, I am so entertained.

Yesterday, I was feeling really shitty. I felt antisocial and I felt ugly, it was just not good.

The only nice thing was I think I made an acquaintance with really good bone structure. I think he was wearing contacts, though, because NO ONE'S EYES ARE THAT BLUE. IT'S JUST NOT POSSIBLE. DID YOU GO TO THE CARIBBEAN AND OPEN YOUR EYES UNDERWATER OR SOMETHING??? BECAUSE THAT IS THE ONLY NATURAL (yes, Veronica, because opening your eyes underwater turns them blue, yay for science) WAY YOUR EYES CAN POSSIBLY BE THAT FUCKING BLUE. They were nice, though.

After school, I showered and did my homework and ate food. I killed a big ass bug BY MYSELF and I am proud. At six, I went back to school for Peer Leadership. It was a really good meeting.

Brock was trying to convince us that people are good, deep-down. He was saying EVERYONE is good.

I don't know, but my awkward shyness disappeared and I raised my hand and started asking him questions.

Like, are sociopaths/psychopaths included in this "everyone is good" thing?

What does "good" even mean? Good to others? Doing good things? Thinking good things?

Now I have more questions.

But anyway, my point was, you can do good things for selfish reasons.

Brock was saying how being a sociopath (and having no conscience) is a theory and that being passed on by genetics or some deformity in your brain is another theory.

Jeff was agreeing with me (he was all, “Brock, it’s science.” and actually, he looked irritated at Brock) and I quite like that. I hate stereotypes, but it'd be dishonest of me to say that I don't have them. I thought since Jeff was a football player that he wouldn't be that educated in psychology (not that I am)

ANYWAY I HAVE TO GO MY DAD IS YELLING.


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