Porky Pieman

Pies, Puns and Filthy Thoughts (18 )
2014-10-01 20:51:48 (UTC)

Here comes the Bride, oops, there she goes

When we were young
Our love was fun
Alas 'twas soon done

I once got married, it doesn't really count though, we were only married 6 months. I've kept stuff in the fridge longer.

We met, married and parted in the space of 17 months.

She was the first girl I spent the night naked in bed with, a memory of which to this day still makes me cringe.

Laid on the bed, kissing, caressing, I unfasten her bra, she kneels up on the bed, removes her top, her bra falls off, she's silhouetted in the moonlight, long hair hanging loosely, a vision to behold for a young horny lad. I then utter the memorable words

"you've got magnificent tits"

She took my virginity, 3 minutes we shall both remember for the rest of our lives, 2 minutes and 40 seconds of which were spent looking for and retrieving a lost condom.

Was it love? No, a youthful period of lust on both our parts in which marriage had no part to play.

I went to bits
As I gazed at your tits
Lost control of my wits




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