MissFlowr_MTL

NewLifeinMTL
2014-09-29 20:04:31 (UTC)

well, lost my last good friend over something so petty. . . .

so, on sept. 20th my best friend of nine years went with me to the mall where i work so i could get my paycheck in order to to make a loan payment on time and we were going around window shopping and trying things on. and me and him have a history we tried dating and realized we couldnt make it work and i thought we had gotten past all the awkwardness and were able to be friends, really good friends. but in recent months my friend has gotten obsessed with sex and it slowly started creeping into every conversation even his siblings were saying me and him should just fuck and get it over with and the whole time i;ve been flat out rejecting him. and on this particular day i had finally just had enough because everything was becoming about how i look and constant sexual remarks no matter what i said. and i finally had enough when we were in the last shop before leaving and he started criticizing me for choosing my underwear based on comfort and function rather than how sexy and fashionable they look. my answer was simply that i cant afford it because i'm not making very much and i have other more pressing expenses to take care of and he turned into mr. "always worse off than everyone else" that he is so famous for turning into every time anyone makes any negative remark. came over to me and "oh? why dont you try paying my expenses for a few months cuz i would love to only have to pay your expenses for a few months." completely dis-crediting my situation because he's so sure that he is so much worse off than i am. then, because i didnt grovel in shame for thinking he;s worse of than me then the whole drive home he ignored me driving angrily to show his aggression. and every time we've talked since then its turned into an argument because he doesnt see how demeaning it is to know that even my best friend of 9 years doesnt see me as anything more than bits and parts that he wants to play with. doesnt see how petty it is to constantly turn things into a competition of who's worse off. . . . . . .he usually is such a good guy.used to be a guy i often went to advice for, but since that fight i feel like i dont have any good friends left. all of my childhood friends have distanced themselves or disappeared. all my friends from high school have pretty much betrayed me. so, here i am at a threshold stepping away from all my friends i've had up to this point into a new era in my life where so far i have no one that is close to me geographically. the only good friend i have left that i've known for years and still talk too a lot lives in Quebec and i hope to move up there with him. because i want more than a friendship.




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