2014-09-29 16:49:09 (UTC)


I remember the chatter of those eight.

Could I name them?
Rohail, Sufyan, Rincy, Palwinder, Robin, Danish, Aamir, Harris...

You know, to be honest, I used to listen in awe as they talked about players I wouldn't know about. But Rohail always seemed to be in the wrong. And that was the cutest part about it. Everyone at that table secretly agreed that Rohail was barely mediocre when it came to fantasy football, secretly believing in the underdogs while the other guys went for the top-notch players.

Being the underdog.

This year makes me look back on a lot of memories, and I'm sitting at this table again not exactly sure why or how I did but I'm the only one sitting here. I'm the only one sitting here because I bet when people sit here they can feel the ghosts. I remember that one time Robin and I sat there and laughed until we made that girl uncomfortable and leave, and when she left we were so happy. Although I was kinda guilty for it afterward I never did it again.

Now I'm alone.
And I have a smile on my face.
If I was here again there would be 7 other people at this table, 7 other people that kindly acknowledge my existence and continue to talk about fantasy sports.

The hatred is getting worse.
I'm getting a lot of ignoring and dirty looks from people who didn't make it to Indian Dance. I felt really cruel about it, but we have to deal with it as people. When Kevin rejected Abby, there was a lot of tension. She didn't talk to him for a long time. I know our group in Indian is supposed to be strict but I don't want them viewing us as complete bitches. We really attempted to be thorough, but we kinda rushed through everyone biased views about commitment.

The guilt of not letting Ana in is still weighing on my mind. Tulsi and Hillary were quick to dismiss her, Agneska, Loren and I just let it happen. But when I came yesterday night and I fought for her, they ended up letting Claudia for callbacks even though she seemed upset.

Maanas waved hi.

The future is starting to look a little bit blurrier.
I know for a fact that if I just let everyone know why...
no, they wouldn't understand actually.
My whole life I've been trying to make people understand,
but they haven't been.
Also maybe it's me but I'm becoming a slower typist.
The world, it's getting a little grayer each day graduation nears.