Days leading to court day
In the past few days things kind of went sour. After relaxing on my joint custody stance and then proposed to see the kids only one weekend every fortnight during term times, we agreed on this arrangement. After I signed this agreement she made 2 new changes which I found selfish and insulting. I requested that she changed that they stay with her all day during important days like xmas, ny, easter etc to that we share them. I also requested that she removed a stupid clause about when I drop them in school and they are late or there is some missing book or uniform item (quite stupid), then I have to drop them the previous day (on a Sunday) at her place. She refused to remove them and I then decided I was not going to sign the new agreement. From then on she became extremely unreasonable again and I went on to tell her I will be requesting joint custody. She sent a mail to me calling me an imbecile among other things. I decide to respond to her and tell her some home truth. As expected (she must always have the last say) she went on to respond with about 5 pages. I have refused to read it as I don’t want to be tempted to respond to that again and the cycle continues. We have so many things in front of us to be cat fighting. If I am not careful with her that is all we would be doing and we would end up destroying the lives of our children.
When she then wrote her timetable for the week, basically one of us does the morning shift (bath the kids, feed them and take them to school) and the other does the afternoon shift (take them from school, take them to activities, feed them, home work , bed). If I don’t go to work I don’t get paid, moreover we more or less have an agreement that I see them one weekend every 2 weeks so why should I be taking unpaid time out of work for afternoon shift. I offered to do morning shift only and she refused. Tuesday was supposed to be my afternoon shift and I said I was not going to pick them up, she said she wouldn’t pick them up as well. I have to continue to look at the bigger picture because I don’t know her limit, she can be very unreasonable and crazy. If all types of child agencies now get involved it is the children that will suffer and I will take most of the blame. So I texted her and told her I was going to pick them up in the afternoon and she responded “yes, that is what is on the time table”! She is so sad. Many things in the last few days…apart from her emails of abuse, she spoke to me rudely in front of the children (vile abuse as usual), shouted at the first child not to ask her any questions if daddy tells you to go and ask me, slammed the door and shouted on the 2nd boy when he asked her for his school shirt because daddy told him to go and ask her, cancelled my (parent’s) remarks on the boys home work page and wrote her remarks etc.
I decided to sign the document so that I can move forward as quickly as possible. A lot of people will not understand but I am looking at the bigger picture. When we even go to court tomorrow I will suggest the agreement takes effect after she gets a nanny or I move out whichever happens first. I hope one day she finds it in herself to live in peace.
She has been bugging me so she hears all my late phone calls. The good thing is that I have nothing to hide as I have told her everything that needs to be known. She would have been listening to my phone conversations and to be honest, good! I am an adult and I can talk to anyone I like as long as I don’t do anything wrong or illegal. She is also very paranoid. She thinks I am bugging her, I colluded with my niece whom she assaulted before she called the police and left the house, and also she mentioned some girl’s name she says she is aware I am scheming something with her. I have never heard of the girl. It just shows how snooping can lead you astray. Hopefully after the financial matters case that will happen next week I will be free from her evil ways.
On a different note my business is suffering a lot and I have some major financial issues.