Xin

How does one live life?
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2014-09-28 02:57:12 (UTC)

A New Cycle

Here I am again.

As is normal with rather large lapses of time, a lot has happened since last I wrote here.
I went through a serious depression cycle again, had my mind set to it and everything. All planned out, the works.
...and then you start thinking about what you're leaving behind. I swear this duality is going to split me apart one day. It looks like a sacrifice, a point to make to a world that has become deaf and blind. But on the other hand, it looks like the easy way out.
There's a shadow cast over me, and it will follow me till I'm pushing daisies. Unfortunately, it doesn't go away when you do. It just seeks a new host, like a parasite, and that's something I can never put the people I love through. They will inherit my darkness. So I figured it's a burden I must carry. That keeps me going for a while.

I have a job now. Gave up on trying any form of 'advanced' studying. Yup, I work in a casino now. I see a human life destroyed every minute. My emotional maturity is paying off I guess. To anyone reading this: never work in a casino.
I might actually start a blog about it. I've got stories for days. It's a completely different world, borderline absurd. Glamour? Forget about it. Happy, partying people? Ha! Sapped lifeforms with pale countenances due to vitamin deficiencies, that's what I see. People come in with a smile, and leave without it. The bank collects, always.
Anyways, enough about that, or I'm off for hours. Gotta keep most of this contained.

So now I'm stuck in another cycle that will soon become perpetual. Let's see how long I can fight the centrifugal force this time...


Keep crawling, my fellow shadow-walkers.


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